The Snow Book

I am Russdocus, chronicler of the expedition to explore the extents of the realm of Oleg.

Thence in a year of which is unrecorded as we lost our only calendar to a Turk most clever, there set upon the snow-trail our party of ten to map the great wildernesses and with the secret goal of obtaining a wolly-mammoth for the grand prince.

Though we were few we also had a herd of reindeer for protection, transportation, food, and entertainment. Many nights were passed with the viewing of a rutting or antler-fight.

Within a week we had mounted three of the snow-wolves that had been following us on pikes to deter the rest of their numbers from snatching up our provisions. One of them had surprised our captain during his time behind the waste-bush, and he had to snuff the vile beast with his britches undone in the deep snow. Where he retrieved his dirk from, no one dared ask.

We came then upon a cliff from whence a vistage of all Christiandom was obtained, and we made a very detailed map, but then lost it again to the same clever Turk who just happened to be walking the other direction on the wagon-way.

Continuing upon our snow path, the group did battle with a very determined bob-cat, and we suffered the loss of two warhorses and our baker, who, now that he is dead, I might say was a very bad baker indeed. Often he would complain about not being the baker at all, but rather the quartermaster, and we would have none of it. His negative attitude, I suspect, is also the cause of our sundry supplies being in such disorder on a constant basis.

Our other charts and maps were almost used as tinder for a fire we didn’t even need before we walked aimlessly into the mountains. Someone must have said a magic word at that point because before we knew it there was a dragon chasing us through a mountain pass. Luckily it was pretty stupid and we were able to strangle it to death. We also ate our food by this point so we loaded up on dragon meat and but then someone caused an avalanche so we snowboarded back to Moscow and that’s why we didn’t find any gold, sorry.

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