The Clunktank is Empty, Again

Crap, they’re right behind us! Fill up the boiler with more wood chips!

I’m trying but its kind of hard with you poking me in the back of the head with that stick.

What are you trying to say, my methods are detrimental to team morale and the performance of the boiler?

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Shitsnackers to be imported from Germany

Ever get tired of regular food? Try shitsnackers! A delicious, creamy blend of ingredients! Our patented process is unknown to the general public!

Endorsed by International Assgrabbers Anonymous who remind you that your hat looks funny.

Move

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Commemorating the Challengeberg Titan

On this day in history, 1949, the Challengeburg Titan made her maiden (and only) voyage* approximately one eighth of the way to the moon. The takeoff and initial ascent went remarkably smoothly, which is quite a miracle, really, when we realize that the Titan was a mammoth boat strapped to the side of a skyward-facing dirigible powered by rockets. Moreover, it was the largest such rocket-powered boat-strapped-to-a-dirigible that had ever been built.

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Corrections From 2011

Here at Clunkline, we believe that journalistic integrity is a thing that exists and that people do sometimes. Although we always make an effort to bring you the most accurate information that we can completely make up, sometimes mistakes do slip through, particularly when FooTay has ingested too much NyQuil and/or just isn’t paying attention (which is always). Here, then, are corrections for some of the articles we’ve posted over the past year.

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You Ain’t Seen Muffin Yet

That’s certainly not how I remember the Muffin Wars. Increased yeast levels in the water table indeed… Honestly, de Pomme, I think you were just trying to get a rise out of us.

My favorite part of the Muffin Wars was when Muffin Darth Vader said to Muffin Luke Skywalker, “You’re muffin without me!” and Luke replied, “That part of my past is dead and blueberried. You’re a nut, the banana of my existence!” And then the fleet of alien bagels began to invade and they had to work together to rescue MDV’s daughter from an office building like in Muffin Die Hard.