Kill Death 4: Capital Gunishment by Norm D. Apple

Exterior, coastal fortress in Bolivia, twilight. Guards dressed in plain clothes patrol along the high walkways and exterior walls of the old Spanish fort. Inside, there are tarps covering cargo platforms, jeeps with machine guns moving about, and a few well-dressed men discussing something on the balcony of a luxurious manor home. Some of the soldiers are opening boxes marked EXPLOSIVE AMMUNITION and distributing the contents.

SNYDER
We have heard that he is in the area, Mr. Gray, but rest assured your product will make the Asian market safely.

MR. GRAY
It had better, Snyder, or else you will find yourself owing quite a large debt.

At that moment, and enormous explosion at a corner of the fortress sends people, animals, and debris flying everywhere. A stoic BLAZE MCGUNNZ stands in the flames holding a rocket launcher, which he has just employed to blow a hole in the wall. Behind him streams in a cadre of mercenary bounty hunters.

BLAZE
Just give up Snyder, and I promise not to blow your head off.

SNYDER
Fuck! It’s Blaze! Get him!

Snyder’s soldiers begin shooting wildly in every direction, setting off piles of artillery shells and boxes of incendiary rounds. Blaze manages to sneak around the action and confront Snyder

BLAZE
I’ve got you now Snyder! Prepare to get a mouthful of bitchslap!

SNYDER
I’ve got a trick or two still up my sleeve Blaze.

Snyder picks up Mr. Gray at the waist and throws him at Blaze. Blaze dodges the china-man and he falls off the balcony down into a hen house. Egg dribbles hilariously down his face and a hen picks at his nose. As it happens, they are actually MUTANT WERE-CHICKENS and devour Mr. Gray in a few moments of shrieking, loose feathers, and high-pitched clucking.

MR. GRAY
Snyderrrrrr!

Blaze and Snyder draw their katanas for a duel on the precipice of the tallest battlement of the old fort. The glaze of the setting sun reflect off both of their blades. Several blows are parried and defended by both duelists, while below the guards and mercenaries continue to fight.

BLAZE
I see you are a master of the Kasinu Horimatsu style, as am I.

SNYDER
I studied under Yoshi Yoshihama of Yoshi Yoshihama’s Discount Sword Fighting Emporium in Wasabi Prefecture, until I killed him for making fun of my kimono.

BLAZE
You killed my master!

SNYDER
And I’d do it again!

Blaze pulls out a flare gun and shoots it into the sky. Offshore, a mercenary destroyer, observing the signal, sends a fifteen inch shell through the wall the two are fighting on. People, mutant animals, and debris goes everywhere as the wall explodes in a firestorm. Snyder falls off the cliff but lands in the canopy of a palm tree, then climbs down to a hidden mini-sub.

SNYDER
Fuck you Blaze I’m gonna kill you!

Snyder escapes. Blaze was blown in the other direction through a crate full of tropical fruit, and emerges covered in juice and pulp.

BLAZE
Now that’s what I call a sticky situation.

The surviving mercenaries and agents laugh heartily as the entire fortress now collapses, and all the drugs and weapons fall into the sea.

THE END

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