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farkle-farkle: Why is C-Span showing DC as if it’s in Pacific time? nervestaple: Because a major stipulation of the health bill was to put DC on rafts and float it off the coast of Los Angeles. Tanzmetall: Yeah, they’re gonna sink the poor areas and use them as underwater buttresses, to keep California from sliding into the ocean. Sgt. Earth: I hear that worked well for New Orleans. RIMSHOT. This past weekend, I attempted to get back in touch with a high school classmate of mine. I noticed that next to his mugshot on the sex offender database, there were no ads. Nothing, anywhere on the page. I was more outraged by this omission than by the crime he “allegedly” committed. No marketing opportunity should go to waste! So, I hired a polling firm and did the field work to determine what ads would see a lot of traffic there. Here are my recommendations about what to advertise to readers of sex offender databases.
Appropriate: Ireland: A land full of angry people. You probably want this update only as much as I wanted this spam. But I thought this first piece explained a lot. To: farkle-farkle’s_email@noneofyourbusiness.com
I think I’ll scrape letters off my Saturn until they spell “A TURN” and then spend all my time turning. This, I have deemed, would be equally (not very) funny.
This image of a cheery but bizarrely-clothed Russian tourist appeared in Burpen’s Samba article a few months back. Although not as repulsive as the infamous awkward.jpg, the only thing stopping us from photoshopping him into strange situations months ago was our lack of time. But now, with finals looming for the students among us, excuses not to work are treasured. And so I bring you: the Lurid Life of Lyurej.
I am an expert on terrible webcomics. About half our ads are for webcomics so abysmal, they make Minimum Security look like Calvin and Hobbes. I always browse through our Project Wonderful advertisers’ sites to see if I find any gems, which are exceptionally rare (see also: Grade D but Edible, Buttersafe). I’ve only found two webcomics I’ve really enjoyed among dozens that have bought our advertising. That says a lot about how many people simply do not belong in that business. Some of these unremarkable strips are solidly “pretty good”, but their potential is wasted by either a bad partnership or a lack of a badly-needed partnership; some are just in all ways conventional, been-done, and uninteresting. There is nothing memorable to distinguish 97% of all webcomics. Trust me: StudKickass is different. StudKickass is one of the most memorable strips I’ve ever seen… but I do not wish this experience even on my worst enemies. |
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