Inspired by the memory of compiling the original Night Shift Collages and the Scissorshop images with Burpen, I decided to make some of these during time in which I should have been doing useful things in school.
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Enter Vagina Vagina: THHBBBBBPT Vagina: BLLLRPT Vagina: THHWWRRRP Exeunt. Who’s above a queefing joke? Not Grabass-Champion. This past weekend, I attempted to get back in touch with a high school classmate of mine. I noticed that next to his mugshot on the sex offender database, there were no ads. Nothing, anywhere on the page. I was more outraged by this omission than by the crime he “allegedly” committed. No marketing opportunity should go to waste! So, I hired a polling firm and did the field work to determine what ads would see a lot of traffic there. Here are my recommendations about what to advertise to readers of sex offender databases.
Am i doin it rite?  And then buy them wit'cho cash money  Hey, plantboot! Plantboot. Oh, Plantboot. How I love thee, Plantboot. <3 <3 <3 Today I’ve opted to provide to you, the very fortunate reader, a review of various chemicals and how they felt in my eye. After painstaking research and lots of running into things given my now-very-limited depth perception, I bring you this, a review of the chemicals that have been in my eye today. It’s not every day you count the beavers in between you and Arby’s. No. It’s not every day. But today is only one day, and today I did it. It started out real hard. I looked everywhere for the fuckers. Couldn’t find a single one. I figured, damn, there must be more than no beavers between where I am and Arby’s. Then I realized I was still in the bathtub. So you spend all day listening to other people whine about their problems, but as a psychologist a great way to unwind is to hit the town and try to pick up some ladies or gents or both. It’s also an awesome way to give someone more problems to take to a psychologist! Score! Keepin’ the profession alive!
For those who can’t read the text in crappy cameraphone pictures, it says “MISUSE SUBJECT TO PROSECUTION”. What could you possibly do to misuse a milk crate? Does sitting on it constitute misuse? What about furnishing your entire house? How are they going to find out anyway? Is there an arm of the FBI designed specifically to prosecute milk crate crime? Is the President going to declare war on milk crate misuse like we’ve declared war on drugs and poverty? If he does, will it make it even more ironic that he has a Nobel Peace Prize? |
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