farkle-farkle: Why is C-Span showing DC as if it’s in Pacific time?
nervestaple: Because a major stipulation of the health bill was to put DC on rafts and float it off the coast of Los Angeles.
Tanzmetall: Yeah, they’re gonna sink the poor areas and use them as underwater buttresses, to keep California from sliding into the ocean.
Sgt. Earth: I hear that worked well for New Orleans.
A few weeks ago, I helped a box turtle across the road. It was promptly eaten by a wolverine. As I returned to my car, I was flattened by the John Kerry campaign bus.
Can I be called a wise man?
nervestaple is now online.
First Guy: I’m not voting for John McCain because he was in prison.
Last time, you joined us as we took Thong-Man and photoshopped him into something more comfortable. This time, well, is exactly the same as last time, basically.
There is no thong.
With gas prices as high as they are, unusual groups have begun to cut down on mileage. Take the Cain’s Dark Markers, a white supremacist group planning to travel to the Democratic National Convention to assassinate Barack Obama. They have rented a party bus to carry their membership from Alabama to Colorado. “We don’t like payin’ at the pump any more than anybody else,” said Jim H. Wallace, the group’s spokesperson. “Just because we’re racist assholes doesn’t mean we don’t need to save a buck here and there.”
Babies look stupid.
When they’re really young, they have no control over their bodies. Ever get a muscle spasm? It’s a neural misfiring; your brain is not hooked up to its equipment quite right. Well, babies’ whole bodies are like that–they’re one great big, loud, pooping muscle spasm. In early childhood development, the brain spends its time taking in as much information it can about the world around it, and rewires itself accordingly.
…but the pork barrel legislation is in another castle.
2:15: Sell Hollywood great anti-Christian movie idea
JIM and TOM are in the anti-bee bunker.
JIM. so our housemate says we should clean
TOM. yes yes and yes
JIM. arbeit macht frei, das flanderson
TOM. did you just godwin our housemate
JIM. jawhol, mein fuhrer
TOM. it’s gotta get done, and hey, fascism makes the trains run on time.
JIM. i’m just speaking german
TOM. I cleaned the kitchen, and did not speak out
“Nervestaple, some days, I feel like our conversations are just quotes from popular culture taken out of context and applied to whatever we’re talking about.”
“Yeah, well, there is no spoon.”
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