Clunkline » nervestaple http://clunkline.com Doom flies on detachable wings. Fri, 23 Jul 2010 04:50:47 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc A Dialogue on Healthcare Reform http://clunkline.com/2010/03/a-dialogue-on-healthcare-reform/ http://clunkline.com/2010/03/a-dialogue-on-healthcare-reform/#comments Mon, 29 Mar 2010 05:25:13 +0000 Tanzmetall http://clunkline.com/?p=4577 Tanzmetall, Sgt. Earth, nervestaple, and farkle-farkle watch the thrilling debate on C-Span, as the House debates the final vote on healthcare.

farkle-farkle: Why is C-Span showing DC as if it’s in Pacific time?

nervestaple: Because a major stipulation of the health bill was to put DC on rafts and float it off the coast of Los Angeles.

Tanzmetall: Yeah, they’re gonna sink the poor areas and use them as underwater buttresses, to keep California from sliding into the ocean.

Sgt. Earth: I hear that worked well for New Orleans.

RIMSHOT.

]]>
Tanzmetall, Sgt. Earth, nervestaple, and farkle-farkle watch the thrilling debate on C-Span, as the House debates the final vote on healthcare.

farkle-farkle: Why is C-Span showing DC as if it’s in Pacific time?

nervestaple: Because a major stipulation of the health bill was to put DC on rafts and float it off the coast of Los Angeles.

Tanzmetall: Yeah, they’re gonna sink the poor areas and use them as underwater buttresses, to keep California from sliding into the ocean.

Sgt. Earth: I hear that worked well for New Orleans.

RIMSHOT.

]]> http://clunkline.com/2010/03/a-dialogue-on-healthcare-reform/feed/ 0 Wisdom http://clunkline.com/2009/12/wisdom/ http://clunkline.com/2009/12/wisdom/#comments Tue, 29 Dec 2009 05:15:38 +0000 nervestaple http://clunkline.com/?p=2677 A few weeks ago, I helped a box turtle across the road. It was promptly eaten by a wolverine. As I returned to my car, I was flattened by the John Kerry campaign bus.

Can I be called a wise man?

]]> A few weeks ago, I helped a box turtle across the road. It was promptly eaten by a wolverine. As I returned to my car, I was flattened by the John Kerry campaign bus.

Can I be called a wise man?

]]> http://clunkline.com/2009/12/wisdom/feed/ 0 this is how i remember the lyrics being http://clunkline.com/2009/01/this-is-how-i-remember-the-lyrics-being/ http://clunkline.com/2009/01/this-is-how-i-remember-the-lyrics-being/#comments Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:58:06 +0000 Tanzmetall http://clunkline.com/?p=915 nervestaple is now online. Tanzmetall: JIM JIMMINY JIM JIMMINY JIM JIM JEROO Tanzmetall: how lucky as lucky as lucky as you nervestaple has gone offline.

]]> nervestaple is now online.
Tanzmetall: JIM JIMMINY JIM JIMMINY JIM JIM JEROO
Tanzmetall: how lucky as lucky as lucky as you
nervestaple has gone offline.

]]> http://clunkline.com/2009/01/this-is-how-i-remember-the-lyrics-being/feed/ 0 fishy fishfish http://clunkline.com/2008/12/fishy-fishfish/ http://clunkline.com/2008/12/fishy-fishfish/#comments Thu, 18 Dec 2008 18:23:41 +0000 Tanzmetall http://clunkline.com/?p=899 GOD MRONING good mourning a great american died today really? who *norm coleman norm coleman norm coleman*… Señor Fishy FishFish McGee III not the inventor of the inverse-kaleidoscope which looks into your soul and sees sparkling fractals of hate and misery no sir just a simple fish living a simple fish life well that would be why I said “NOT the inventor of the inverse-kaleidoscope” how did he die cat related death I hate it when people die of being related to a cat it’s terrible that’s clever! I’m a clever kind of guy I’m a kind of clever guy Kind I’m a guy lever C Stop how is jersey Sir snowy haily still dirty and crowded with the pollution refineries dotting the landscape No oh dear did the pollution refineries burn down Yes where will jersey get its pollution reverse greenhouse effect you never hear about that one for some reason so on a scale of 1 to Bored how bored will you be today depends on a scale of 1 to bored, probably… undergarments I can see why it depends. Undergarments can be exciting or repulsive depending on who is wearing them and whether they are the appropriate gender elen

]]> GOD MRONING
good mourning
a great american died today
really? who
*norm coleman norm coleman norm coleman*…
Señor Fishy FishFish McGee III
not the inventor of the inverse-kaleidoscope
which looks into your soul and sees sparkling fractals of hate and misery
no sir
just a simple fish living a simple fish life
well that would be why I said “NOT the inventor of the inverse-kaleidoscope”
how did he die
cat related death
I hate it when people die of being related to a cat
it’s terrible
that’s clever!
I’m a clever kind of guy
I’m a kind of clever guy
Kind I’m a guy lever C
Stop
how is jersey
Sir
snowy
haily
still dirty and crowded with the pollution refineries dotting the landscape
No
oh dear did the pollution refineries burn down
Yes
where will jersey get its pollution
reverse greenhouse effect
you never hear about that one
for some reason
so on a scale of 1 to Bored
how bored will you be today
depends
on a scale of 1 to bored, probably… undergarments
I can see why it depends. Undergarments can be exciting or repulsive depending on who is wearing them and whether they are the appropriate gender
elen

]]> http://clunkline.com/2008/12/fishy-fishfish/feed/ 0 would you like a bucket of pork bellies http://clunkline.com/2008/12/would-you-like-a-bucket-of-pork-bellies/ http://clunkline.com/2008/12/would-you-like-a-bucket-of-pork-bellies/#comments Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:11:23 +0000 Tanzmetall http://clunkline.com/?p=880 good morning sir would you like a bucket of pork bellies frozen concentrated orange juice no sir, pork bellies, they are made of pork and have bellies human bellioes only when the groundskeeper falls into the vat, ha ha! but no, seriously, pork we are trying to restart the economy by selling commodities door to door we thought the smell might entice people so how many billion bushels can i put you down for Elen sorry sir did you say eleven Elen sorry sir did you say fifteen sir what are you staring at behind me Elen oh! goodness me what a precious child what is her name Forfy I thought it would be… uh… nevermind does forfy want any pork bellies Forfy Elen look are you going to buy any pork bellies or not sir I am a traveling salesman and I asked you a direct question and as we all know it is unlawful not to answer a salesman’s direct question Where am i what year is it sir? it is 1933 you are in baghdad it is the eighteenth year of the war of devolution pork bellies are the national currency does chuckie still tickle the ivories at the embassy lounge chuckie has been dead for three hundred years, sir this infernal machine are you ok, sir? willl you be needing a guide? …or… …pork bellies… I may be a traveling salesman but I dabble in guiding and nobody seems to want this sloppy bucket of guts anyway here, forfy, you may play in it do you have an baubles or trinkets shhhhh! quiet down the palace guard will hear you I… shouldn’t be saying this but if you want to buy baubles I also dabble in the black market I can… hook you up with the good stuff for a price a high price to be paid in pork bellies Beaubles sir… sir! my goodness me the top half of your head is disappearing you are fading away from the top down like what happened in the silent classic, “forward to the past” …they’re gone! … dammit my pork bellies disappeared with them Hah! it is i no! your nemesis throughout time and space professor cosmotosis your henchman just stole $324.88 in commodities from me and also my favorite pink bucket

SUSPENSE

]]> good morning sir
would you like a bucket of pork bellies
frozen concentrated orange juice
no sir, pork bellies, they are made of pork
and have bellies
human bellioes
only when the groundskeeper falls into the vat, ha ha! but no, seriously, pork
we are trying to restart the economy by selling commodities door to door
we thought the smell might entice people
so how many billion bushels can i put you down for
Elen
sorry sir did you say eleven
Elen
sorry sir did you say fifteen
sir
what are you staring at behind me
Elen
oh! goodness me what a precious child
what is her name
Forfy
I thought it would be… uh…
nevermind
does forfy want any pork bellies
Forfy Elen
look are you going to buy any pork bellies or not
sir I am a traveling salesman and I asked you a direct question
and as we all know it is unlawful not to answer a salesman’s direct question
Where am i
what year is it
sir?
it is 1933
you are in baghdad
it is the eighteenth year of the war of devolution
pork bellies are the national currency
does chuckie still tickle the ivories at the embassy lounge
chuckie has been dead for three hundred years, sir
this infernal machine
are you ok, sir? willl you be needing a guide?
…or…
…pork bellies…
I may be a traveling salesman but I dabble in guiding
and nobody seems to want this sloppy bucket of guts anyway
here, forfy, you may play in it
do you have an baubles
or trinkets
shhhhh!
quiet down
the palace guard will hear you
I… shouldn’t be saying this
but if you want to buy baubles
I also dabble in the black market
I can… hook you up with the good stuff
for a price
a high price
to be paid in pork bellies
Beaubles
sir… sir! my goodness me
the top half of your head is disappearing
you are fading away from the top down
like what happened in the silent classic, “forward to the past”
…they’re gone!
…
dammit
my pork bellies disappeared with them
Hah!
it is i
no!
your nemesis throughout time and space
professor cosmotosis
your henchman just stole $324.88 in commodities from me
and also my favorite pink bucket

SUSPENSE

]]> http://clunkline.com/2008/12/would-you-like-a-bucket-of-pork-bellies/feed/ 0