I’m trying but its kind of hard with you poking me in the back of the head with that stick.

What are you trying to say, my methods are detrimental to team morale and the performance of the boiler? Yes and I don’t know but probably also yes. This boiler is keeping us all alive.

We all know that.

Well I think you don’t because it is seriously the only working engine in this part of the country right now. Everyone else is walking.

Well, I saw someone with a donkey a ways back.

Yeah but then you shot the donkey!

Well it was my last bullet anyway.

How does that make it better?

Listen you I’m the ranking crew member of this boilorry and what I say goes.

Well that’s fine you can just take it up with those fellas on bicycles chasing us. The boiler pressure is down to 2 bar.

Crank the manual pressure pump!

Listen, we’ve been over this before. Your so-called manual pressure pump is just a piece of timing chain connected to an air compressor that we turn with our hands and a pulley. But if we just attached that same assembly to the transmission we could gain mechanical advantage over pushing this damn thing and not lose our energy due to the second law of thermodynamics!

Nope, crank the pump.

We’ll we’re surrounded anyway.

Whatever I hate you.

My favorite part of the Muffin Wars was when Muffin Darth Vader said to Muffin Luke Skywalker, “You’re muffin without me!” and Luke replied, “That part of my past is dead and blueberried. You’re a nut, the banana of my existence!” And then the fleet of alien bagels began to invade and they had to work together to rescue MDV’s daughter from an office building like in Muffin Die Hard.

In any case, we will have users examine our work in many years time once the only extant computer workstation is back up (currently we are trying to repair the motherboard with fruits and nuts) and we have harvested enough live raccoons to turn a massive treadmill-dynamo to power the internet.

We are doing well I think and if the muffin-leftovers last us, we should be able to re-establish agriculture in Greenland (known now as the ‘new midwest’) within a decade. May the clunk see us through!

“And here we see the slurry containers, there’s usually enough slurry on hand for ten thousand units.” “Wow that many? Who buys all these dildos?”

“Well sir there’s a demand for them I can tell you. We ship about a thousand units a day.”

“But I’m just a simple milkman! How am I going to manage this whole factory that was surprisingly given to me in a freak accident at the church raffle?”

“That was interesting how the toaster ticket got mixed up with a deed to this factory. Don’t worry sir, I will guide you through all the tough decisions. I can help with the suppliers and people management too.”

“Oh what turmoil this has caused in my life!”

“Lookout sir, that’s an unstable dildo container you are under!”

Rumbling grows and then the container bursts burying our hero in dildoes.

*womp-womp trumpet in the background*

“Talk about a hard day!”

Tune in next time!

“I am a farmer and I farm my cows”

COws” moo”

In walks another farmer with the head of a dead demon.

“Hey check this out I got it from a mysterious black asian gypsey” “Wow I hope it doesn’t get too close to the cows and then somehow turn their milk into death milk and thereby would turn any cheese made from that milk into death cheedse, which no one would be able to understand until they ate the cheese because its powers only reveal themselves once eaten and everyone thinks its someone else murdering all the townsfolk and but really its just this death cheese”

“I agree”

However the dead demon head comes alive and chomps on a cow.

“Moo!”

“Oh no shoot the cow with that flaming crossbow to prevent any cheese from coming out!”

But the cow makes cheese and the cheese is eaten by the mayor of mexico town and before he dies he writes the title of this movie in his diary then another group of actors playing detectives would find this and realize it’s not Bruce Snyder they thought was killing all the prople but rather the death cheede.

Snyder” I told you it wasn’t me now let me down from here!”

They let him down and he attacks the cheese with a flamethrower turning it into melted cheese and everyone knows there’s no such thing as death melted cheese.

Meanwhile on the moon the demon head smiles and winks after it was sent there by the mexicans thinking it would die but it had to leave an opening for the sequel.

FIN