Clunkline » Looney-ramble

Are You There Forums? It’s Me, shellapanic

shellapanic — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 08:47:41 +0000

504 Connect to forums.clunkline.com:80 failed: General SOCKS server failure

My only advice is to stay aware, listen carefully and yell for help if you need it.

-Judy Blume

Deleted Scenes from my Internal Monologue

Sgt. Earth — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 06:42:32 +0000

Ow! Is cantaloupe supposed to burn in your mouth while you’re eating it?

Great. Walking around in work pants, shirtless, eating a peach and farting. I hope my gay housemates don’t notice.

Mm. Squash water!

SPECIAL SUPER SANDALOUS SUMMER CLUNKER SANDAL ISSUE

Sgt. Earth — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 04:50:20 +0000

Spring Break is over, but the SUPER PRIVATE times continue down on Gulf beaches as the Almost Naked Volleyball Championships get underway. And sometimes the co-ed teams wear SANDALS!!

“SANDALS are something that everyone can wear, male or female, no matter how much other clothing they are wearing at the time,” said New School ECE major Estan Huaraches. “You can even wear them over boots and that is even SEXYer than not wearing boots. SANDALS are so hottttt, they sometimes put me on fire.” FIVE Ts is how hottttt SANDALS are.

“I just love to watch the young co-eds jump around in their SANDALS,” said University of DuBois sophomore design major Richard Mules. “Because SANDALS have all the excitement of a natural disaster with none of the senseless deaths. Hooray for SANDALS!”

However, more conservative voices would call the SANDALS an AFFRONT TO VALUES. “I don’t see how you can call SANDAL-WEARING in the beach sunshine a sport,” said Carlow College music major Jañez Espadrilles. “It makes me sad inside and want to wither up near the cold clear water.” MORALS.

“According to the American Heritage Dictionary, a DYNAMO is a generator, especially one for producing direct current, or a person who is also like this,” says purchasing manager Oto Tatami. “It is this that defines the administration, it is good that nothing is any good with SANDALS.”

This article was originally published in readme’s Annual Sandal Issue, which is a joke on the Tartan’s Annual Scandal Issue, which is a joke on that time the Tartan did a thing with a thing. See, the Tartan can be funny sometimes!

Yes, because that makes sense

Tanzmetall — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 23:24:48 +0000

I dreamed farkle-farkle had this device, a big metal sarcophagus you stepped inside. You could walk while wearing it, and it had a shower head above you and a TV in front of you. It looked sort of like Rosie from The Jetsons.

Naturally, this walking-TV-shower was for camping, so it was called the Tom Sawyer.

XTREME NEWZ: Motherfucker fucks fucking fuckers

nom de pomme — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 02:34:46 +0000

Fuck! A fucker has fucking fucked some fuckers up. Reports indicate that motherfucker Fucky McFuckington fucked a fucker right in his fucking fuck face. The fucker was later identified as Fuckhar Al-Fuzickeed from Fuckistan. Fuckers fucking around later fucked. Fuck at 11.