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starring by /written by/ actor(s) / director(s() / gaffers(s)/ /producered by(s) : VINCENT BROWN something no one worked on but VINCENT Q. BROWN himself… BREAKING BAD JIM and TOM are in the anti-bee bunker. JIM. so our housemate says we should clean TOM. yes yes and yes JIM. arbeit macht frei, das flanderson TOM. did you just godwin our housemate JIM. jawhol, mein fuhrer TOM. it’s gotta get done, and hey, fascism makes the trains run on time. JIM. i’m just speaking german TOM. I cleaned the kitchen, and did not speak out JIM. you didn’t clean your room After having tried many times to sell scripts commercially, I am pleased to announce that I am now in the bzneszs of selling commercial scripts! I hope you like them (I know I do!) as much as I do. Please contact the appropriate companies and let them know they need to use these commercials or the consequences will be worse than anything their darkest imaginations can imagine. Sincerely yours friend, A play in two acts by Vincent Brown ACT ONE JIM and TOM are somewhere. TOM wants JIM to write about two things: either carrots, or BEES. The jury has already seen the letters from David Shore and Rick Duffield that led my client down that dangerous road of rejection. The elitist producers themselves are to blame for their respective murders. My client merely wanted to entertain the world with his daringly-edgy screenplays, but the world snubbed him… the world was not ready. I now will put the final nail in their coffins. Let us re-examine this letter from Daniel Lupi, that the prosecution so stupidly believes demonstrates motive, to see why it pushed my client over the edge. Mr. Brown, Let me be clear from the outset. I am not interested in producing “There Will Be Blood II: This Time There’s More Blood”.
We’re sorry, Mr. Brown, but since “Wishbone®” is a childrens’ show intended to educate and entertain youngsters, there is no conscionable way we can air the recently-penned episode. While “Wishbone®” scripts of the past have featured dark themes and preserved unhappy endings, your adaptation of “Titus Andronicus” goes too far. Admittedly, if it were merely faithful to the original text we might have just gone ahead with it, but your gratuitous incorporation of the Spanish Inquisition into its overbearing plot does not meet the needs of this network at this time.
Dear Mr. Brown, Your teleplay does not meet the needs of the network at this time. House, M.D. has a full staff of writers. Furthermore, they are generally competent in crafting plots and/or grammatical sentences, which is more than I can say about you. Your two-page, improperly-formatted manuscript is enclosed. My reader actually specifically requested that she be given permission to take a shit on it first, but I reviewed her employment papers and it was not in her job description. You have dodged a bullet, Mr. Brown. |
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