Clint Eastwood said it best

Some times, there are just people who you know are going to do some things or be there, and when destiny calls, maybe someone will pick up the phone. …I’m sorry, Barack Obama, but I don’t even much like farm animals, especially donkeys, I don’t know why you’d suggest that I kiss one. You’re so crazy, Barack Obama.
http://clunkline.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Romney-Ryan_TwoGuys.jpg

The Greatest Movie Pitch in History

Quick, name five of the most awesome movies you can think of off the top of your head. If you’re anything like me, then four of your choices will have Jason Statham in them (the fifth is a movie where a small thai man beats up the entire world). But what if those movies are off the table? You’d have to select your five from the world’s number one source of non-Jason-Statham-related awesomeness– the Syfy channel.

But for all the entertainment they’ve provided me over the years, not once have I ever given anything back… until now.

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Move

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My Failed Attempt to Assist an African Refugee

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Religious Turducken

This is a shrine to John the Baptist in Damascus. What’s so special about it? It’s completely contained within the Umayyad Mosque. That’s right, a Christian holy site within an Islamic holy site. All we need is for someone to put the Ten Commandments in there and we’d have a religious turducken!

Umayyad Mosque

A.k.a. “NO”

Would you like steamed or fried transgression?

Possessed Fax Generator

We have a system that generates a fax form using bits of information we input. With this one I put in very standard information, and somehow got this out of it.

This may be what’s wrong with the economy

I recently secured a desk job. That’s right, Grabass_Champion of gas station and pizza delivery fame was entrusted with a cubicle, a computer with TWO (count ‘em,) TWO monitors, and the capacity to send faxes to any damn fax machine on this planet. (Sometimes he faxes Iran images of Mohammed just for fun.)

So we don’t all forget each other’s names in this office environment, we all have signs on our cubicles with our names on them. The standard sign for my employment level looks like this:

One day when there was really nothing left to do, I got paid more than I’ve ever made in my life to painstakingly use Paint to turn it into this:

Verbose Shirt

Government Surplus

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Bran Flakes ad – so much friggin’ bran!

Bran Flakes - now with more bran!

Nack Jicholson


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DONT TREAD ON ME

Butt Calendar

MesmericKiwi and I found a white erase board calendar sitting next to a chair in a campus eatery. We helpfully filled in a schedule for the benefit of the calendar’s owner, whenever they return for it.