The best of Clunkline.
Your own fault if you click it. Even more so than usual, and it is always your fault. Posts not tagged with this are not guaranteed to be unoffensive, but these ones are guaranteed to be offensive, so there you are. NOT SAFE FOR BRAINS.
Gathered Content …See also, “Why would you steal such crap?”
Any content that we didn’t create specifically for Clunkline. However, there is no material on this website that was not created at least in part by a contributor. Yeah, we know there’s embedded YouTube videos, but we made those, too–this isn’t “Collectionofrandomshit.com”. Anything that was made by a Clunkline contributor is fair game for display and publicity on this site—old comedic endeavors, short stories, sitcom pilots, all kinds of stuff we hunched over and shat out. So some of it may have been printed / screened / whatever before, but in every case Clunkline has checked their copyright obligations, and also credited the original venue. Links to each of these venues are provided. (See our Copyright Policy for more information.)
Posts here appear in their respective authors’ corners.
Posts here appear in the Election Center, or did before the election ended and we took it down. They can still be found on archive and author pages.
Removed from Circulation
These are jokes that, for whatever reason, didn’t age well. Or, they’re articles that are inside-jokey. Either way, there was something about them that made me not want them to appear in the randomizers and related post features. That doesn’t mean they’re not funny, but they were probably funnier when they were written. Posts with this tag will still appear in older pages of the Front Page, in searches, on Author pages and Archive pages–that is, in the context in which they were originally published. If you really want to read all those articles I wrote about Hillary Clinton in February 2008, I suggest using the News category or the Barack Obama tag.
Pieces of writing with a point to make. That point can be not to have a point.
How to do shit. Do I really need to describe this? Honestly.
Snail mail or email from one person to another.
This is a list of things. Those things might even be other lists, but that hurts brains.
Grabass_Champion’s serialized autobiography.
Articles that are written as if they were news, but are in fact fake. Essentially the modern standard in journalism.
Point / Counterpoint
Debates are conducted very formally and logically here at Clunkline.
We hate a lot of things. There is a lot to hate about this world. There is even more hate in the hearts and souls of our writers. That isn’t actually true due to set theory, but we hate set theory too.
Some things are things that we make. These things usually suck. When we get depressed about how much they suck, we like to laugh at people less fortunate than us. Reviews are where we talk about things we didn’t write, thus writing about them and circumventing copyright.
The story of a woman who would not be stopped by the glass ceiling of literacy.
The collected works of a failed writer.
These things aren’t words and don’t move when you stare at them.
These are pictures that are going on a date with text and will probably sleep with him tonight because they are such hoes. (Yes, they are plural.)
Harg Barg Burg
Tributes to a late great comic artist.
Drawn or painted or whatever, these were done with human hands and then scanned so Skynet could look at them too. We made them all by ourselves.
Things we took with a real, physical camera IRL.
IMPACT FONT. Usually have to be self-ridiculing or they’re likely to be stupid.
Edited images of all varieties.
Real products that should be fake; fake products that should be real.
Some products get displayed as if they were ads on the front page.
Shit that moves when you stare at it.
Films produced by a cast and crew.
Short comedy clips that don’t take themselves seriously.
Comedy that is spoken while standing.
We stop, then we motion.
Bonzo and Bonkers
This category is for dumb things J-tin makes with the weird brain thing and moose.
This term was invented by YTMND and describes the use of one’s butt as a vehicle.
If you stare at it, it won’t do much, but if you listen, you might get offended.
This is stuff that you listen to, and has patterns in it.