Early Airport Design Sketches from "Aeroport Run-Way Theory" by early 20th century aviator Franzen del Mutel

Translated from the original German, these images and excerpts are from what is considered the founding text of aerodrome design at a time when heavier than air flight was less than a decade old. Del Mutel’s designs were mostly visions of structures to be built in a European future where cities had expanded so vastly that large, area-swallowing tracts of land for airports would be unavailable.

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Alternative Archaeologists Find B-52 Wreckage at Waterloo

Alternative history fans were shocked to discover that Napoleon did indeed have access to at least one B-52 bomber at the battle of Waterloo.

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Loser Student a Reject at School for Losers

When it comes to losers, size matters.

Chicago is busy constructing a school for the victims of bullying. That’s great—they should build more schools like this, for my amusement. Because you see, in every social circle imaginable, someone will be picked on. I have fun imagining the guy who’s a big enough loser to get picked on at THIS school.

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Mormon Army Routed at Engagement Near Toledo

As of press time, Clunkline has ascertained that the Mormon Punitive Expedition bent on destroying Ammangetorix’s band of vandalatious Amish marauders who have been terrorizing the region for years.

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Mormon ‘Army of Latter-Day Liberty’ Marches to Destroy Amish Spectre


Mormon Field Marshall Joseph von Smithitz today led five divisions of heavy infantry, three squadrons of attack aircraft, two cruisers, five patrol boats, and one pre-Dreadnought battleship purchased in 2002 from Portugal east in the United State’s Second Punitive Expedition to eliminate the roaming hordes of Amish death squads and their regular army, which has been wreaking havoc in the Great Lakes and Mid Atlantic regions of the US for the last 140 years.

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Welcome to the Ryugyong, enjoy your stay!

North Korea’s attempt to create a totally glorious national symbol resulted instead in the creation of a totally appropriate national symbol.

“White Elephant” is a term used to describe an expensive waste of money that is kept around anyway because it is symbolic or pretty, like a decaying aircraft carrier, an expensive statue, or a trophy wife. Fortunately for rich men, trophy wives rarely look like white elephants. Unfortunately for North Korea, they’re not rich: North Korea’s white elephant looks like a peanut found in one of Big Brother’s most ominous turds.

The Ryugyong Hotel is the most expensive stupid thing I’ve ever heard of, after Paris Hilton, who is similarly renowned for being something you could sleep in but wouldn’t want to.

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The End of Aesthetics

Why American fighter planes are boring and Europe’s unwavering battle to make theirs likewise. A Lifetime original series.

As you’ll notice, whenever I write about the aesthetics of machines that strikingly contradict my commie-pinko notions on warfare (Namely that it’s stupid and doesn’t solve anything), I very rarely mention vehicles made by the United States in a positive light.

This is no accident. They’re boring as all hell. Barring a few examples I’ll mention in the followup to this article, there is an utter failure of the imagination about them that can never be rectified in my mind’s eye.

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