Translated from the original German, these images and excerpts are from what is considered the founding text of aerodrome design at a time when heavier than air flight was less than a decade old. Del Mutel’s designs were mostly visions of structures to be built in a European future where cities had expanded so vastly that large, area-swallowing tracts of land for airports would be unavailable.
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So, my circadian rhythm was going crazy last night and I had 6 unique dreams, all of them incredibly vivid. I’ll spare you the more epic bits to present this little gem. I’m on an airplane with two other guys and one chick, the chick is telling a story to the guy she’s dating. Oh, and we’re all dressed as pirates. I’m getting ready to start a lab when I realize that I don’t have any ethanol to wipe down my lab bench with. I am now faced with a choice: I can borrow ethanol from the guy to my left or the attractive girl behind me. Tough choice. The first option is definitely safer. I wouldn’t have to worry about my voice cracking, my shoe laces suddenly being tied together or my pants spontaneously falling down as the universe’s way of getting even with me. At the same time I would not have the opportunity to begin a dialogue with the girl that I spend most of the lectures staring at. Tough choice… tough choice. I could… tough choice. No wait… damn… tough choice. Well, let it not be said that I am a coward.  Why A Swinger? Rampaging robocops rebelliously reduce residents to random radical reserves. If you have ever flown anywhere on an overcast day, you have probably perused the magazine equivalent of the HSN, known as SkyMall ’cause you can shop for all kinds of useless garbage all from your hard, narrow airplane seat. What more could you want? Well, other than wider seats. Why American fighter planes are boring and Europe’s unwavering battle to make theirs likewise. A Lifetime original series.
As you’ll notice, whenever I write about the aesthetics of machines that strikingly contradict my commie-pinko notions on warfare (Namely that it’s stupid and doesn’t solve anything), I very rarely mention vehicles made by the United States in a positive light. This is no accident. They’re boring as all hell. Barring a few examples I’ll mention in the followup to this article, there is an utter failure of the imagination about them that can never be rectified in my mind’s eye. |
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