May. 2, 2008, 11:12 by
Grabass_ChampionI took a SkyMall magazine from a plane, just to provide you with hilarious assessments of their products. You should be grateful.
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Apr. 30, 2008, 11:59 by
TanzmetallIt has been my experience in life that people, by and large, are horrible bastards. Obviously the way to fix this problem is by becoming one myself. Here are some of my favorite tricks!
1. Going into the office of the student organization that picks bands for concerts and playing nerdy power metal at full blast
(If they ask me to turn it down I usually respond by yelling the names of Pokemon until they go away)
2. Passing people on the right, cutting them off, braking before any and all green lights, all the while peeing out the window on pedestrians
3. Going in to banks with 97 coupons labeled “cash value 1/100th of a cent” and asking if they can give me a loan for the other 3/100ths
(See it’s annoying cause I don’t have a credit rating)
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Apr. 3, 2008, 17:10 by
FooTayA lot of people think that “-core” genres–such as hardcore, metalcore, deathcore, mallcore, and the ever-popular polkacore–are easy to do. Just take any subgenre of actual metal–usually death, black, or thrash metal–and dumb it way down, right? Well, not quite. If you want to form your own “-core” band, there’s a few crucial steps you’ll need to follow.
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Mar. 17, 2008, 16:24 by
Tanzmetall
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Giving enemas was a time-honored tradition in some primitive cultures. So was receiving them.
This, therefore, was inevitable. |
Last time, I reviewed a pair of horrible online catalogs, but they had way too many hideously stupid items for sale for me to possibly cover in one update. Even today, I’m nowhere near done ripping Carol Wright a new one, but this update ought to bring us one step closer to, at the very least, giving her an enema.
Since I’ve gone to all the trouble of getting on my rubber gloves and getting her to bend over, you only have to sit back in your comfort wedge and enjoy the show.
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