We have completed the requested security report. We find that, while the newly redesigned Clunkline is impervious to most forms of internet tomfoolery, it is still vulnerable to some forms of “side-stream” attacks: attacks that come from outside a system, rather than within. For instance, a torrent of page requests that clogs your servers would be an in-system attack, but smacking your server with a sledgehammer would be side-stream.
Interestingly, hacking Clunkline’s password would be “brute force”, but breaking into your apartment, clubbing you to death, and stealing your server is side-stream. I dare say they have been misnamed! Back to the point. You should be aware that, in our test of your security protocols, our agents found it very easy to club you to death and steal your server.
I was up late that night. Graveyard shift at the campus apartments. A dispute down the hall resulted in a pathetic and somewhat hairy student coming to me complaining about one asian in particular, and asians in general. He also said he needed a new scrunchie, but I couldn’t help him there. A single RA can only do so much to stem the asian invasion and conjure up scrunchies.
My apartment building came with pretty thick walls—thick enough that I never heard any noises from any other apartment for months. But recently, my upstairs neighbors decided to start playing “throw the U-bend into the corner”, and I can hear them quite clearly.
With the Presidential election a mere 2 days away, America has been standing at rapt attention, following the election closely for so long that November 4th is going to be like the long-delayed orgasm the nation has been waiting for since the election process started.
Way back when the Forums were young, when farkle-farkle, nervestaple, and I lived together, when the grass was green and the economy was real, I made a mistake.
It has recently become apparent to me that you seem to be seriously interested in pursuing a career in tap dancing. I have come upon this idea after listening to you tapping your feet (with shoes) on your bare hardwood floor for hours on end.
This symphony of sounds (“thud” and “tap” being the sole two musicians in your foot orchestra) is something I don’t particularly appreciate at inappropriate times (anytime). I could probably hear a pin drop on your floor from my room in the basement of our house, let alone your feet, which oftentimes sound like a retarded wild horse on concrete.
Italian architect David Fisher today unveiled what is sure to be the second great disaster of the twenty-first century. Called ‘Dynamic Tower’, it will be a 1378 foot apartment building that can rotate on voice command by residents.
