Joke Lessons

Comedy, as we all can agree, finds its roots in storytelling. All the way back to the Ancient Greeks, and even the Greeks before that, stories were made interesting by the comedic juxtaposition of events. Therefore it seems only natural that comedy evolved into jokes, a kind of short, poignant storytelling where a friend assumes the role of the narrator, and takes you along for the proverbial ride. Jokes have been the vessel of comedy for years, but in recent times they have begun to wane.

That’s why today, The Surgeon is taking it upon himself to re-vitalize, re-invigorate, and re-furbish the joke form (just when you thought you were as furbished as you could be!). Now, a new generation of storytellers may arise and give us something to fill the awkward silence at dinner after your brother has come out to your parents, and you know… your dad starts to pour gasoline all over his own loins for producing his children. (Speaking of where the matches are, dad, I heard a great one the other day…) So without further ado, I give you… JOKE LESSONS!

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It is Difficult to Write an Article Involving Porn

There is nowhere to write it.

I’d be at home but then that would lead to either an awkward question-and-answer session with my girlfriend or an extremely awkward search to perform thoroughly in the first place.

Even though I’m not going to be posting any actual porn, I need to find an unflattering image of a pornstar, and safe-search doesn’t cut it. So I’m in my home away from home, this student organization office, and waiting for people to leave who aren’t going to leave so I can find ONE MOTHERFUCKING IMAGE.

I refuse to post this article until it is ready.