And then buy them wit'cho cash money
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I just got back from my 8th tour of duty. After the 3rd, they stop giving you tour guides. Yee-haw! Just like them old folksy tunes that Paw used to play on the ol’ banjukelele. Stomp up a storm, grab your partner (by the hand, you pervert!), and swing your arms in that ol’ Main Street America Joe Sixpack do-si-do. …But mostly just read it. There was, a house, in New Orleans
“Negro Bits” didn’t make it through the marketing people. Today we bring you a taste of madness, a bit like the Ronnicles, but from the opposite direction. Rather than exhibit for your viewing pleasure a person whose reading moneys are grossly underfunded, we bring you a veritable plutocrat of words. I present for your scrutiny the works of Ken Warren, public librarian of Lakewood, Ohio, a Cleveland suburb. This man spoke recently at my college. He is known by someone who knows a professor, who got him invited. This man is mad. What follows is a series of excerpts from a paper he presented to his lecture’s audience, some of which is available online.
Here I rant about why driving around every day can, even without people on their phones trying their best to kill you, be an incredibly frustrating affair.
Kosovo has just surpassed Europe as the greatest country in the world. Like American water fountains in the 40s, it is segregated into white people and black people. The white people are called Albanians, which comes from Einstein’s first name, since his hair is the same color as their skin. The black people are called Serbians, because, um, Nikola Tesla made them that way. If there is one word to adequately describe Soulja Boy’s success, that word is “inexplicable”. Hip-hop perpetuates its own hackneyed aspects. Soulja Boy, as far as I can tell, is an overblown mockery of several of these aspects. He’s ridiculously exaggerated to the extent that you think, there’s no way this guy is possibly serious. And yet he is. “Horrendous miscarriage of pop culture” approaches the magnitude of his failure. 
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