Preface by the Abbot Anslwyth in the time of King Henry VII:
These scripts, having been found on the old battlefield by a local farmer wound inside a glass spirits bottle, represent a great communication of our historic Royal Army from the time of the last offensive against the crown of England. Herein lie the last independent leaders of Gwynedd, and possibly insight into their demise. They are studiously replicated in the librarium of the Abbey by Brother Angloham.
July 14th, 1376
From: The camp of Lieutenant Llywelyn Fawr
To: His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
Subj: For Gwynedd!!!
The line that divides north, south, and Midwest runs through here. Occasionally voters are swayed by candidates’ views on maritime law as their ships are boarded by French privateers off the coast.
ST. PETERSBURG – Among reports of a strengthening Baltic Hooker, the value of Russian sex futures skyrocketed today in a manner reflecting the deregulation of 1991.
Italian architect David Fisher today unveiled what is sure to be the second great disaster of the twenty-first century. Called ‘Dynamic Tower’, it will be a 1378 foot apartment building that can rotate on voice command by residents.
Giving enemas was a time-honored tradition in some primitive cultures. So was receiving them. This, therefore, was inevitable.
Last time, I reviewed a pair of horrible online catalogs, but they had way too many hideously stupid items for sale for me to possibly cover in one update. Even today, I’m nowhere near done ripping Carol Wright a new one, but this update ought to bring us one step closer to, at the very least, giving her an enema.
Since I’ve gone to all the trouble of getting on my rubber gloves and getting her to bend over, you only have to sit back in your comfort wedge and enjoy the show.
Why American fighter planes are boring and Europe’s unwavering battle to make theirs likewise. A Lifetime original series.
As you’ll notice, whenever I write about the aesthetics of machines that strikingly contradict my commie-pinko notions on warfare (Namely that it’s stupid and doesn’t solve anything), I very rarely mention vehicles made by the United States in a positive light.
This is no accident. They’re boring as all hell. Barring a few examples I’ll mention in the followup to this article, there is an utter failure of the imagination about them that can never be rectified in my mind’s eye.
