A Dialogue on Healthcare Reform


Tanzmetall, Sgt. Earth, nervestaple, and farkle-farkle watch the thrilling debate on C-Span, as the House debates the final vote on healthcare.

farkle-farkle: Why is C-Span showing DC as if it’s in Pacific time?

nervestaple: Because a major stipulation of the health bill was to put DC on rafts and float it off the coast of Los Angeles.

Tanzmetall: Yeah, they’re gonna sink the poor areas and use them as underwater buttresses, to keep California from sliding into the ocean.

Sgt. Earth: I hear that worked well for New Orleans.

RIMSHOT.

Living with Peter, the Awful Korean Part Two: Smoke and Mirrors

So one might criticize my reaction to that initial night of sexile, since the blue scrunchie maneuver was something I might have given Peter reason to think was okay. (I hope to god Peter didn’t show that Chinese girl his “blue scrunchie maneuver” if you know what I mean, because what I mean is some kind of sex act).

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Musings of a Thoroughly Dissociative Looney – Part 5

The price of gas is killing me… Sometimes I have to leave my lead weight collection at home. The beached whale on my roof is going to have to go next. I guess that’s what you get for parking below the tide line.

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My Pet Peeves (9)

Well, it seems I’ve been out of it for awhile. Sorry, all. I haven’t forgotten you.

So, here’s a pet peeve of mine…

MYSTERIOUS BEVERAGES!

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McCain refers to “Russian Empire”

At a faith forum in California in mid-August, John McCain referred to the “Russian Empire” instead of the “Russian Federation”. The “Russian Empire” has not existed since 1917. Unlike his slip referring to the Czech Republic as Czechoslovakia, this one actually does not make any sense. What’s next–promoting a two-state solution to the fighting in the Kingdom of David and tough talk about Sumeria’s nuclear program? This would be funny if I were making it up, right? (Timestamp: 3:45.)

I’m posting this several weeks after the fact to point out how stupid it is to refer to things long after they’ve become irrelevant.

Obama and Obama Speak at Faith Forum

They look so happy!

According to the Associated Press, Illinois Senator Barack Obama appeared at a “Faith Forum” in Lake Forest, California with Illinois Senator Barack Obama.

It was the first time the two men had appeared at such an event. Senator Obama spoke mostly on his support for legalized abortion, while Senator Obama talked about the biblically-outlined responsibility for people to help those less fortunate.

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Mormon ‘Army of Latter-Day Liberty’ Marches to Destroy Amish Spectre

SALT LAKE CITY

Mormon Field Marshall Joseph von Smithitz today led five divisions of heavy infantry, three squadrons of attack aircraft, two cruisers, five patrol boats, and one pre-Dreadnought battleship purchased in 2002 from Portugal east in the United State’s Second Punitive Expedition to eliminate the roaming hordes of Amish death squads and their regular army, which has been wreaking havoc in the Great Lakes and Mid Atlantic regions of the US for the last 140 years.

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Oh, You Support the Electoral College? How Quaint, You’re An Idiot.

Also Known As, The Longest Motherfucking Corner Essay Ever

There are a number of arguments for and against the Electoral College, and yet there are not two legitimate sides to the debate, because every one of the losing side’s arguments belies borderline mental retardation. In every claim about what the system does, E.C. supporters are flat wrong, by empirical fact. And in every claim about why what it actually does is a good thing, they are nothing less than clinically delusional.

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Peoples’ Exhibit #3 in the case of the State of California v. Brown

The jury has already seen the letters from David Shore and Rick Duffield that led my client down that dangerous road of rejection. The elitist producers themselves are to blame for their respective murders. My client merely wanted to entertain the world with his daringly-edgy screenplays, but the world snubbed him… the world was not ready. I now will put the final nail in their coffins. Let us re-examine this letter from Daniel Lupi, that the prosecution so stupidly believes demonstrates motive, to see why it pushed my client over the edge.


Mr. Brown,

Let me be clear from the outset. I am not interested in producing “There Will Be Blood II: This Time There’s More Blood”.

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Ask Grampa Judd: Part II

Dear Grampa Judd,
My mommy says we should recycle, but I heard somewhere that it burns more energy than it saves. Is this true?
-Indecisive in Indiana


Dear hoosier ducksucker,

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The State of the Union should be something different.

I don’t know about you, but when I was little and I heard that the president was giving a state of the union speech, I always thought that it was kind of an employee of the month thing, but for the fifty states. Well, now I’m convinced that America needs an incentive system just like this in order to improve our great Republic. I think it would work something like this:

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DVDA-New Dance Craze Sweeps the Nation

SafeSearch on, pants off!

Those of you among our club-going readership may have noticed a new craze sweeping the scene. But to everyone other than you, Greg, the word DVDA may still be strange and unfamiliar. What is the DVDA? Where did it come from? Can it be cured with penicillin?

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