This is why I hate the internet

Googling my screen name produced this gem from back in 2005. I have no idea about the context of this info, only that some group of teen aged girls thought it was funny as hell. I’ve separated out the actual conversation from her conversation about the conversation for your convenience.

lime margar iiTa: HAHAHA
lime margar iiTa: who is this?
MesmericKiwi: my name is *****
MesmericKiwi: and who do I have the pleasure of conversing with?

lime margar iiTa: who talks like that?!
XxGrEenLoVexX: i dont know but whoever it is i hate already

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The “How Much Do I Like This Band” Quiz

I listen to better music than you do. I know this, partly because I also know more about music than you do, but mostly because all of your favorite bands either suck, or they were way better before people like you started listening to them. Also you’re ugly and you smell bad. Go away.

Is he gone yet? Good, I hated that guy.

Anyway, the reason I have such a high standard in music is that every band I encounter is first put through a strict test to determine exactly how much I like them on a 0-100 scale. For this quiz, each band starts with 50 points, then add or subtract points based on the answers to the following questions:

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Travel Guide to Pointless Places: Land of the Yoopers

The height of Yooper fashion, and the first result in Google.

The Upper Peninsula of Michigan is the Scandinavia of America: cold, out-of-the-way, and pointless. It’s like the Finnish translation of Appalachia. Somewhere along the line, someone in the U.P. thought it would be a good idea to refer to themselves as a “Yooper” (U.P.-er), and ever since, anyone with any sense has avoided it.

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Old War Stories with Grandpa Simon and Grandma Tanzy

My buddy Bill from Boot.

I just got back from my 8th tour of duty. After the 3rd, they stop giving you tour guides.

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Point/Counterpoint: The Election

Point:

Man, this election is the BEST thing to happen to our country since FDR. I just can’t believe it! I worked so hard to MAKE THIS HAPPEN. I’m so HAPPY that America is finally overcoming prejudice to elect a VISIONARY leader to the White House. I really do think that President Obama will RESURRECT our most important American core values. This is the first step towards a BETTER future. This is totally a sign of A BRIGHT NEW DAY for our country and our world. Thanks to Obama’s victory, now I DON’T have to move to Canada after all. To all of you out there, I say: YES WE CAN.

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Swing State Profiles: Minnesota


Why A Swinger?
Many Minnesota residents do not have time to become informed on politics after compulsory anti-Yeti defense force service laws were enacted.

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Swing State Profiles: Montana

Why A Swinger?
Look, they just aren’t that bright up there.

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Grabass_Champion Goes To Montréal in Two Pictures



LOLOL ASS.

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Canadian Anti-Defamation League: Frequently Asked Questions

Believe it or not, plenty of people care enough about Canada to ask questions about it! However, there are many common misconceptions about what it means to be Canadian. Please enjoy browsing this page, which will sort out the myths from the legends, the half-truths from the three-quarters-truths.

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Submitted for Approval by Kipling-London Productions: The White Book by Norm D. Apple

Mogli and his pet monkey tramp through the frozen tundra’s deep snow.

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ALOHA AND GREETINGS FROM HAWAIINTERNET

Grabass_Champion: bag. bag.
Tanzmetall: ALOHA AND GREETINGS FROM HAWAIINTERNET
Grabass_Champion: OMG
Grabass_Champion: TEHRE IS INTER NET IN HAWAY?!?!?!?!
Tanzmetall: sorry it appends that onto every message I send
Grabass_Champion: CL took a brief dive today, as you’ve no doubt read by now
Tanzmetall: seems ok to me
Grabass_Champion: well, yeah, it’s back up now
Tanzmetall: ALOHA AND GREETINGS FROM HAWAIINTERNET
Tanzmetall: god dammit

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Who is this bitch on everyone's coins?

So… I have a little coffee can full of coins from every corner of the Earth (truly a feat because the Earth is indeed spherical), and I’ve noticed an alarming trend.

Tell me what you think coins from these countries/territories might have in common:

Fiji
Canada
East Caribbean States
Australia
Hong Kong (Pre-China return)

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What the US could have done instead of going to war in Iraq.

By recent estimate, the USA has spent nigh on 700 billion dollars on the war in Iraq and over 4000 lives. Here’s a REAL list of things that we could have done with those resources instead.

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Well, you fucked it up, Pennsylvania.

You voted for a candidate who uses stupidity as a wedge issue.

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Clinton is Winning the Hotly-Contested War for Stupid Voters

In recent days, Hillary Clinton has tried to get the nomination by appealing overtly to stupid voters. The two biggest examples of this are her handling of the Wright non-controversy, and her even more imaginary “Bittergate”. In both cases, someone on Obama’s side was accused of saying something “offensive”, usually to small-town, white Americans. The problem? Nearly everything those people said was true.

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