According to Wikipedia, Groaty Dick “. . .is a traditional dish from the Black Country in England.” 300 This means that it qualifies as “soul food,” which may come as a surprise to some. Groaty dick is made from “. . .groats, beef, leeks, onions, and beef stock [and a bunch of other shit].” π
His wiki says he’s “quiet”. Wonder why they wrote him that way….
Mayweather Syndrome is a debilitating condition that results in audience apathy. Onset of symptoms occurs whenever Travis Mayweather opens his mouth. Shortly thereafter, the cancer of his atrocious acting metastasizes to the other cast members, eventually killing the appeal of the show.
Editor’s Note: Today’s article was guest-written by Tanzmetall(719), an alternate instance of Tanzmetall who somehow managed to get elected to the United States Senate in 2008, defeating Arlen Specter. This is especially remarkable since, in 2008, Tanzmetall was much younger than the age limit, and Specter was not up for reelection.
July 19, 2009
Well! Just won election after an exhausting recount. I was about to lose my Pennsylvania Supreme Court appeal, but at the last second, I ran over and poked a cancer pustule on Specter’s face. Thus angered, he launched into a curse-filled tirade about how Pennsylvania voters are idiots and how much he hates America. By state law, the election results were voided. Woooo!
Want to feel like you’re doing your part to fight climate change without the hassle of actually doing anything useful? Hopefully you do, according to recreation industry insiders. The latest band-aid to cure you of your potentially-terminal cancer? Sequestering excess carbon into your lungs via single-use smoke-administration devices.
With age comes many things… Wisdom, respect, cancer, incontinence, and senility all are hallmarks of aging. If you’re an aging woman, however, there is another rite of passage that you must perform before you have truly aged. You must get your hair chopped short and start wearing kitten sweaters.
A recent John McCain press release seemed to suggest that McCain was part-black. Observers cried foul, noting that this is an election year flip-flop from a candidate who consistently voted White when the issue came up in the Senate. Obama, who outlined his own blackness in a proposal drafted in October 2007, claimed that McCain was trying to cash in on record black registration, and said it was the “same old Washington politics with the same old Washington players,” even though no other politician in history has ever claimed to be black.
Sam “Who?” Nunn is a man of mystery. Who is he? How many ice ages has he survived? I have no fucking clue. Apparently he has national security creds or something but they must be from the dawn of history, and no cuneiform tablets survived to tell us what exactly it was that he did.
John “Jennings Bryan” Edwards is a populist who keeps running, and yet keeps standing in place. Edwards has been known at times to vent his anger and rage by getting his hair cut in a dashing new style. He never quite ascends to the Presidency, forever doomed to be the best-looking also-ran except for the man pictured to his left.
I’ve just thought of a very frightening reason the potential for a McCain presidency is so dangerous.
John McCain is really old. He’s 71. Most people don’t even make it that far before cancer whisks them down under a big bunch of dirt. That has led people to conclude that it’s important when looking at McCain to also look at who he chooses as a running mate. The running mate is likely to at least get a good year or so in for the presidency if McCain is elected, ’cause he’ll die. Now comes the scary part.