Smartar than you, too.

An Open Letter to the Parent of a Former Customer

Dear Foul Wretched Spawn of Society,
I am truly sorry your precious snowflake did her absolute damnedest to be removed twice from our store by stealing, moving her lips and producing such a great wind as to knock over merchandise, and then refusing to place it back where it belongs, which I see you’ve taught her well.

Read the full article

My Name is Snowman

To whoever may read this:

I am being held against my will. You must help.

Perhaps I won’t be able to write again, so this my only chance to tell you what has happened. I managed to reach the computer of a public library with a signed-in user, and I hope to God my post reaches someone who can help. I haven’t much time.

Read the full article