Trick-or-Treating will last from 6pm – 8pm on Friday for the city proper, 5:47pm – 8:22pm for those living in its faster-moving outlying regions, or 6:13pm – LL5:87aZ for blocks bordering the Alcubierre Anomaly. For those looking for convenient candy containers, Frau Goedel’s Stoneware has generously donated to the City a few thousand of their popular Klein bags. They will be dispensed at their office on Mobius Street, which you can find on either side of the sidewalk.
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Howdy everyone and thanks yet again for buying the latest edition of Guide, Guide to Nations: Zimbabwe. As a world traveler, I have taken it upon myself to synthesize my acute knowledge of this mythic and amazing land for you the reader to enjoy. For a more memorable reading experience, place the book on a coffee table and do sit ups next to it. See how many words you can read per sit up, then try to break that record!
Mrs. Smith, I know you said not to do a book report on a movie again, but this movie is just way too good, and I think you’ll agree. The film opens with Dan Evans, an unsuccessful yogurt farmer, as he tends his yogurt orchard hoping for a lucky harvest to solve his financial problems. A band of ruffians from town, hired by the Cheez-Whiz factory owner, complicate his life (and the plot!) by burning down a few acres of his orchard.
Lugal Sargon, It comes to my most just attention that my city of Kish, blessed of Enlil, has come into inexplicable debt certainly not incurred by my humble gambling away of the royal treasury. I request your assistance in the same manner as I pray for Enlil’s, and prostrate my humble body and city at your mercy, should you choose within your righteousness to smite us for our crime of being poor. And yet I dance with joy as if this were a holy-day, for I know that in your wisdom you will not smite us, and yet help us with our debt that, should you need reminding, I did not cause by gambling. Love, They say the car you drive says a lot about you. I agree with that, personally, so long as it’s the car you choose to drive. For example, my ideal car is a Honda Civic, Toyota Corolla, or Volkswagen Rabbit with a stick-shift and as few power options as possible. That’s because I like incredible gas mileage, absolute control, and as few things as possible to break. On the other end of the spectrum, most people who drive Hummer H2‘s and GMC Yukon XL‘s are raving idiots. But what of people who have no personality at all? Worry not! There are cars for fantastically boring people as well! The customer enters the store. He pours himself a cup of coffee, tearing open two packs of Sweet ‘n’ Low and dumping them into the cup. He takes a little stirrer and stirs it up, trying to ensure equal distribution of cancer throughout the coffee. He then takes a lid and covers his concoction, grabs a muffin, and approaches the counter. “Is that all?” The cashier asks. And that is how a regular old customer becomes a stabbing victim. The internet is a hotbed of diversity, porn, and advertising… Well, okay, mostly just porn and advertising. But in that little corner of the internet that serves some purpose other than cash and horniness, one can find a page about nearly anything.
However, naming them isn’t always so simple, mostly because entities (known informally as “fuckers”) have opted to “park” on all sorts of domains (a domain is like the “clunkline.com” in “www.clunkline.com”) and charge exorbitant prices for something that is otherwise quite inexpensive. As the internet develops, however, more and more domain names are purchased, and these “fuckers” as they’re called have to park on more and more obscure names in hopes that someone will still come along and buy them. Yup. |
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