The height of Yooper fashion, and the first result in Google.
The Upper Peninsula of Michigan is the Scandinavia of America: cold, out-of-the-way, and pointless. It’s like the Finnish translation of Appalachia. Somewhere along the line, someone in the U.P. thought it would be a good idea to refer to themselves as a “Yooper” (U.P.-er), and ever since, anyone with any sense has avoided it.
President-Elect Obama shocked many in the punditocracy by nominating Chin Soo-Choo, the world’s only 5-star Starcraft general, to be his Secretary of Defense. “Chin has all the qualities that I look for in a general: he has a complete grasp of the proper use of High Templar, he is unbeatable when playing Zerg, and he is so über-micro it’s ridiculous.”
Want to feel like you’re doing your part to fight climate change without the hassle of actually doing anything useful? Hopefully you do, according to recreation industry insiders. The latest band-aid to cure you of your potentially-terminal cancer? Sequestering excess carbon into your lungs via single-use smoke-administration devices.
Perhaps it’s the generally unfriendly climate in Pittsburgh, or maybe the price of energy is to blame, or it could be that the unfettered access to information that we enjoy in the modern age has dampened people’s willingness to go and see something when they can just read about it online. Whatever the cause may be, the fact remains: neither the massive extra-terrestrial spacecraft that crash landed in the center of Pittsburgh last Thursday, nor the strange humanoid beings who inexplicably emerged from the wreckage unharmed, have managed to bring in the flocks of tourists that the city was expecting.
Heralded by a deafening roar of thunder, a deluge of flames poured from the skies. The streets and rivers ran with blood. Grotesque beasts sprang up from vast chasms carved in the Earth’s surface leading straight to the depths of the underworld. And four skeletal riders appeared on the horizon, arriving to bring about the destruction of mankind.
You say you can’t support legislation to mandate your huge corporation to reduce their carbon emissions because it will cost you money in the short term? Are you SURE that you would lose money from it? Like, 100% sure?
Because I mean, I’ve heard that some experts think that won’t happen.
Kansas Governor Kathleen “What Glass Ceiling?” Sebelius gives political women a good name in all the ways Clinton does not. She also has the remarkable ability (or remarkability, if you will) to win multiple elections, and remain very popular, as a Democrat in a blood-red state. This is because, every morning, she eats a bowl of Awesome Flakes (120% of your daily required Awesome), and you are what you eat.
Nebraska Senator Chuck Hagel is a WHAT THE HELL HE’S A REPUBLICAN. Like Joe “Iscariot” Lieberman, he’s more or less switched sides on certain issues, although Lieberman is no longer even a Democrat in name. Like Obama, Hagel was an early and emphatic critic of the Iraq War, and has been unreserved in his praise for what he sees as Obama’s foreign policy clairvoyance. The difference between him and most Republicans is that he and Obama got out the rulers and measured.
