Here’s a pet peeve of mine that I think all of us can agree is quite annoying. There’s a common type of person whom all of us have met at one point or another. Sometimes, he’s your history professor in college. Sometimes, he’s the strange neighbor down the street that is completely oblivious to the fact that no one likes him and who has managed to somehow identify you, of all people, as his chum. Heaven forbid this type of person is actually a member of your immediate family. He’s somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty to forty years of age, wears sweater vests and golf socks, is well versed in Shakespeare and philosophy, and, not least of all, has been boasting a glistening bald patch in the back of his head since he was twenty-three. This person (here it comes) OVEREMPHASIZES THE “H” IN EVERYTHING HE SAYS. “WHHHHHHy, HHHHHHow are you doing today?” he might say. “Excuse me, wHHHHHat was that you said? HHHHHHalitosis? Me?”
A highly successful blow to the state at University College today resulted in the violent guillotine-firing squad-horse dragging deaths of the ten member Homecoming Court, including the king and queen.
I’ve got a number of pet peeves, and, to my annoyance, I am constantly finding more to foster with the passing of time. In my book, constantly is too often, and living on a college campus full of bozos and ruffians does not help. So that the world can share in my grief, I will share my pet peeves with you all, one for each week. Some of them, people will be able to sympathize with me on. Others…. well, only in my world I suppose.
Anyone out there got earplug headphones? If so, then you might know where I’m going with this. Or maybe I’ll surprise you yet.
So, I used to love seeing you when you came around, y’know? You were kinda cute and we talked and it was so fun to just flirt a little bit. I mean, so long as your boyfriend wasn’t around. Then you disappeared for a couple of weeks… I didn’t really notice, no… I see a lot of people every day so it’s not any offense to you, it just wasn’t a big loss in the grand scheme of things.
Many computers, it seems, have Samba (a file/print sharing program) installed and running by default. As a result, while living in a dorm at school I found some images on other people’s computers (and cell phones) that they probably wish I hadn’t. The good thing about this is they have no idea the images were even available. The bad thing about this is I’d occasionally see these people around the campus and have to suppress laughter.
Most of these are somewhat embarrassing, I’m sure. Some of them are just plain strange. Categorically they must range somewhere between foundphotos and Myspace. I find all of them amusing.
After years of idiotic backwards rednecks from Missouri and South Carolina bragging to informed northerners from Massachusetts and Pennsylvania about how their wild, uninformed, ridiculous vote cancels out “y’alls” informed, well thought out, researched votes, the Federal government has changed the rules.
Also Known As, The Longest Motherfucking Corner Essay Ever
There are a number of arguments for and against the Electoral College, and yet there are not two legitimate sides to the debate, because every one of the losing side’s arguments belies borderline mental retardation. In every claim about what the system does, E.C. supporters are flat wrong, by empirical fact. And in every claim about why what it actually does is a good thing, they are nothing less than clinically delusional.
On a day in the distant past, two boring people met in a park. They stared at each other, and an uncomfortable silence ensued. “Wouldn’t I be less boring,” each thought to themselves, “if I could engage this other gentleman in a cheery conversation about a canine’s crotch-sniffing habits?” And so, after an extremely long silence, they parted ways and went to pet stores, in order to buy something to talk about. But they met with less success than an Ethiopian in a tanning bed. The plan did not make them more interesting. It only made them more noisy.
HRC: “I would bet every single one of those folks [who says the race is over], they’ve got a job; we can see that. They’ve got good health care; we know that. They can pay whatever the charge is at the gas pump most likely. They can send their child to college. I’m not running to represent them, I’m running to fight for you and to be your champion.”
-I don’t have a job
-I don’t have good health care
-I can’t pay for gas
-I can’t pay for college
-I say the race is over.
Recently we decided to do fewer political articles to get more variety, but hell, this is my Corner, and I’ll meet ya in the middle by not going into a full-fledged rant.
