For those who can’t read the text in crappy cameraphone pictures, it says “MISUSE SUBJECT TO PROSECUTION”.
What could you possibly do to misuse a milk crate? Does sitting on it constitute misuse? What about furnishing your entire house? How are they going to find out anyway? Is there an arm of the FBI designed specifically to prosecute milk crate crime? Is the President going to declare war on milk crate misuse like we’ve declared war on drugs and poverty? If he does, will it make it even more ironic that he has a Nobel Peace Prize?
Neo-post-post-rock group To Hëll With The Dåmned! Said The Sætting Sün Over The Bättlefield Stårk! released its new eleven-disc album Monday to universal disapproval. Not one positive review has come from anyone anywhere, no matter how many drugs they were on at the time.
Stereotypes are insulting and divisive. Of course, I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with, is that they insult the wrong people. When’s the last time you heard an epithet for Iowans? Well, if you finish reading this article, it will be five minutes from now.
a VINCENT Q. BROWN FILM/ television reel
starring by /written by/ actor(s) / director(s() / gaffers(s)/ /producered by(s) : VINCENT BROWN
something no one worked on but VINCENT Q. BROWN himself…
Immediately after his inauguration on Tuesday, President Barack Obama pushed the Magic Economic Reset Button located in the Oval Office. The Magic Reset Button immediately fixed various complex problems without any short-term sacrifices or any need for patience.
In late 2006, a money grubbing O.J. Simpson published a book entitled If I Did It, a totally hypothetical discussion of how O.J. would have killed his wife and Ronald Goldman. This book caused a firestorm of bad press and was tragically recalled before it reached stores. In O.J.’s memory, I wrote a tribute to him entitled If I Did It, a discussion of how I would have killed those two people. This book was also killed before reaching the shelves, but that might have had more to do with my poor penmanship and general aversion to personal hygiene. But seeing as O.J. is about to go to prison for the next ten years, I though it an appropriate time to pimp my forgotten masterpiece.
Taking to heart the Obama campaign’s fortuitous slogan “Yes We Can,” a whole bunch of people got together and solved a majority of the world’s problems Saturday.
“We all got to thinking, maybe it’s not just up to the candidates, or the people at the top who can do things,” said history professor Darwin Adams. “Maybe some problems are actually better solved by Joe Sixpack fixing his own life than by Joe Biden trying to fix someone else’s.”
Way back when the Forums were young, when farkle-farkle, nervestaple, and I lived together, when the grass was green and the economy was real, I made a mistake.
A new Obama campaign ad opens with footage of the Vietnam War. The narrator intones, “Many people opposed America’s activities in Vietnam, but few hated freedom so much that they were willing to betray their country.”
Thus far I have covered a decision-based quirk and a mental-based quirk. Today’s unusual trait is physical. I have abnormally distinct control over my facial muscles. Sure, some people may be able to do some of what I can, but rare are those that can do all!
My last venture into the quirks of my life was one of reason more than habit. Today’s topic, however, deals with something that is an aspect of my personality. I can endure monotony relatively indefinitely.
Since 573 A.D., DragonStuffCo has been the world’s most trusted name in the field of souvenirs and knick-knacks with little dragon logos on them. Dragon-themed coffee mugs, T-shirts, toothbrushes, leather upholstery kits, and various other items have seen brisk, steadily increasing business pretty much from the beginning. Last year, though, DragonStuffCo stock experienced a dramatic plunge in value, due in large part to a massive product recall combined with the threat of a class action lawsuit. Then, just as unexpectedly, the company’s value suddenly skyrocketed. The following internal e-mails provide a valuable insight into the causes behind these events…
That’s right–Hillary Clinton herself writes for this website. But in order to protect her presidential bid, we gave her a handle. Bill suggested it. He said it was his petname for her. His “love handle” for her. We assured him that this joke was not funny. But he ignored us, chuckling for a little while about his wife’s love handles before he suddenly became really depressed and fondled a waitress.
Your teleplay does not meet the needs of the network at this time. House, M.D. has a full staff of writers. Furthermore, they are generally competent in crafting plots and/or grammatical sentences, which is more than I can say about you.
Your two-page, improperly-formatted manuscript is enclosed. My reader actually specifically requested that she be given permission to take a shit on it first, but I reviewed her employment papers and it was not in her job description. You have dodged a bullet, Mr. Brown.
