Dec. 24, 2009, 23:32 by
ElbowdropI play Dungeons and Dragons.
There, I said it. It’s out there, go ahead and mock my basement-dwelling, Mountain Dew-chugging, cheese puff-eating tushie. I play D&D. And y’know what? I enjoy it. It’s freakin’ fun.
There’s something missing from the D&D experience though. At times, the adventure can seem a bit too disconnected from the reality we live in (fancy that). Noting this, I took it upon myself to add a new class to the ranks of Barbarian, Wizard, Ranger, and the like, a hero for a more refined age.
Ladies, Gentlemen, and otherwise… I present the Democrat character class for D&D 3.5!
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Nov. 18, 2008, 16:06 by
FooTay[Hook:]
Yo I’m the VIP in the D&D
So don’t nobody be role playa hatin’ on me
‘Cause I’m the VIP in the D&D
So don’t nobody be role playa hatin’ on me
[Verse 1:]
What! What!
I’m a real dungeon master
A f****n’ spell caster
Ain’t nobody can finish a campaign any faster
With my staff of power I’ll bring the devastation
Got the multi-sided dice of every denomination
And you better not ignore
My ability score
It gets better wit’ every dungeon I explore
So stand aside and don’t try nothin’ funny
Or else I’ll have to hit you wit’ my 3d20
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Aug. 15, 2008, 16:05 by
Grabass_ChampionAn Extended Middle Finger To Those Who Like Dragonforce
“Technical wankery” is a phrase used not because it’s really all that clever, but because it references masturbation. Dragonforce’s seemingly undying need to play really fast and unsatisfying guitar riffs bears much similarity to masturbation: It’s got nothing to do with pleasing anyone except the person doing the act itself. While it may be impressive that they can play really, really fast, it also seems to produce the musical equivalent of rapid-fire bowel movements: it’s startling and kind of uncomfortable. And we all know that truly good music is for the listener, not the player.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 16:24 by
Grabass_ChampionI entered the theatre totally unfamiliar with the name Uwe Boll. I didn’t know a thing about what “Dungeon Siege” might have been. All I knew was that my girlfriend had heard about advertisements for it, hadn’t read any reviews on it, and just decided to give it a shot anyway. So we knew that it was a risky move, but even that knowledge did not prepare us for what we encountered.
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