Hello all and thanks for buying my latest edition of the Guide series, Guide to Nations: Greenland. As a world traveler I have labored long and hard to bring you the most accurate representation of this beautiful country, its storied history and vibrant culture.
Following last week’s speech in front of the Victory Column in Berlin’s Tiergarten, German citizens became so uplifted and emboldened that they ‘pulled a reverse France’, dissolving and liquidating the democratic government and installing Barack Obama as the Chancellor of Germany’s Sixth Reich, which is just a modern copy of their second.
TOM. did you just godwin our housemate
because you did
JIM. jawhol, mein fuhrer
TOM. it’s gotta get done, and hey, fascism makes the trains run on time.
JIM. i’m just speaking german
you are projecting all over me
TOM. I cleaned the kitchen, and did not speak out
I cleaned the bathroom, and did not speak out
I cleaned my bedroom, and did not speak out
and when I was finished, there was nowhere left to clean
Louisiana Governor Bobby “Creepy Smile” Jindal is much-loved among the conservative assholes who have so far shied away from McCain for not being proud enough to be an asshole. He has run a completely non-transparent government in a state whose reputation for mismanagement and catastrophe rivals that of President Bush. All of this makes him a likely pick.
Joe “Iscariot” Lieberman is a Senator from Connecticut who hates doing the right thing. In 2000, he helped Al Gore lose/win and ultimately lose an election, and now he is doing the same for Barack Obama. Joe Lieberman, who left the Democratic Party for the Fuck the Democrats Party (of his own founding), endorsed John McCain, who gleefully added “Jewish voters” to his list of minority voters he could count on. It is still the only bullet point on that list.
In what is being hailed as a ‘miracle of tactical maneuver’, the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg has nearly doubled its land empire in its most successful large scale ground assault ever.
I just got back from seeing Indiana Jones 4. It was pretty good, except for this idiot and his fat wife who sat next to me who kept going back for more pop and popcorn (via where I was sitting) for the whole movie, laughed at the most plebian of jokes, and who would guess the endings to lines, out loud, when it was delayed for dramatic or humorous effect.
from: admin@redpornotube.com
to: azurechameleon212@geocities.com
subject: Your Recent Posts at RedPornoTube
Dear AzureChameleon212:
First I would like to thank you for all of the time and effort you spend patronizing our website and free service, redpornotube.com. Like many of our users, you give back to this community driven website by uploading your own pornographic content, in addition to downloading the content of others.
I would like to note here, however, just for the record, that this trade of data is not very much like the analogy you used in your previous email to us – online videos are in no way like “the cum-stained porno mags of your father’s closet, pages stuck together like thighs.” Indeed I would posit that they are more like the slutty girl at your local highschool – passed around like some form of social currency.
Hello, I am Jonathan Maple. Today on Declassified, we will be investigating a specific event that occurred in Leipzig, East Germany (GDR or DDR in German) on May 4th, 1987.
Every year, Seneca Valley High School in Germantown, MD holds a men’s beauty pageant poignantly titled “Mr. Seneca.” In my capacity at Clunkline, I somehow uncovered some footage of a previous contestant from all the way back in 2006. Though I cannot speak much to his methods, or much on the subject of copyright infringement, I will say this: it seemed like a hell of a show that year.
