I am writing to you about some problems I am having in your course, 37-267: Basics of Organic Chemistry. I am not sure how many of these problems you are aware of, or what you can do about them, but I hope you will be able to help me.
Firstly, your TA in my section, James Q. Wilkin, does not seem to have the students’ best interest in mind. He curves our quizzes arbitrarily, refuses to post his PowerPoint notes as required by the syllabus, gives quizzes on topics not covered in class or in the book, does not appear to understand the material, and occasionally pees on students. I strongly recommend you replace him as TA.
We at Clunkline love to network with our tubemates out there or the internet. It’s not easy to get an interview, though… Oftentimes those most important internetfolk are too awed by the glory of Clunkline or too resentful that soon they’ll be paying top dollar to advertise on our site in hopes of gleaning a few hits from this internet dynamo. However, every once in a while someone’s willing to swallow their pride and offer us a bit of time.
The height of Yooper fashion, and the first result in Google.
The Upper Peninsula of Michigan is the Scandinavia of America: cold, out-of-the-way, and pointless. It’s like the Finnish translation of Appalachia. Somewhere along the line, someone in the U.P. thought it would be a good idea to refer to themselves as a “Yooper” (U.P.-er), and ever since, anyone with any sense has avoided it.
An Open Letter To All The People Out There Who Say They Hate Dragonforce
Between porn, Wikipedia, file sharing, porn, facebook, porn, YouTube, Homestar Runner, and porn, the internet can be a wonderful place. It can also be a really stupid place, because it allows people like YOU to spew their ASININE OPINIONS without fear of immediate physical retaliation.
Yeah, you know who you are. You’re one of those people who uses completely MEANINGLESS phrases like “technical wankery” in a desperate attempt to find something bad to say about a band that’s so incredible you have to invent words just to find something to complain about. “All they ever do is play fast” you say. Well so what? All B.B. King ever does is play blues. All Yo Yo Ma ever does is play cello. All Jerome Bettis ever did was play football. All my co-worker Dan ever does is play World of Warcraft. And except in that last example, there’s NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT SO YOU CAN JUST SHOVE THAT ARGUMENT UP YOUR ASS!
This entry can be easily understood (← lie) with the help of Google.
Partie A. Conversations.
Marc et Sophie are hiding the evidence. You will hear a series of short conversations as they discuss where to put the body. When you have heard each conversation, circle the response that is MOST APPROPRIATE.
Fred Thompson made a grim spectacle, his face an unpleasant grimace at odds with his floral swim trunks and jolly, smiley-sun umbrella. He sat, dissatisfied, stretched out on a beach chair in front of the Hawaii surf, his angry eyebrows sinking below his forehead. An unattended girly-drink with a bright parasol rested in his hand, and his gut sloped lazily forward over the drawstring of his trunks. His eyes disinterestedly followed the movements of attractive, scantily-clad women playing in the waves in front of him.
Bingo O’Malley is a reasonably big-name actor with an utter contempt for TV, a penchant for high-status characters, and a connection to my local theater group, Scotch ‘n’ Soda. He came and did an acting workshop once, and somehow I wound up challenging him to do some kind of improv scene and see who steals the show. Stupid idea, maybe. Until the then-Artistic Director of my improv troupe told me afterwards it was one of the best scenes I’d ever done. Personally I think I’ve done much better but it got good reviews from pretentious theater people, so hey, who am I to judge. (It’s also some of the only improv I’ve ever done that has been recorded, so… there you are.)
Actually, it’s going to be more about how it’s “like learning French from the Internet at large.” But that wasn’t nearly good enough to be title material. So…
Recently I’ve been on a useless computer-fucking-around kick, which inevitably means that I’ve been (as I have on and off [but more off] for years) dabbling in the shark, piranha, and frustration-infested waters of Linux. Let me start off by saying that Linux is a great operating system the minute you trick it into doing exactly what you want it to do. Let me also say that Linux is an awful operating system for your blood pressure, your patience, and your level of alcohol consumption while you’re still trying to trick it into doing what you want it to do.
To explain my frustrations with this operating system, I will now create a very weak but possibly humorous analogy between learning Linux and learning the French language, in which I analyze trying to learn the foreign language the way I learned Linux.