The internet is a hotbed of diversity, porn, and advertising… Well, okay, mostly just porn and advertising. But in that little corner of the internet that serves some purpose other than cash and horniness, one can find a page about nearly anything.
Want Spooge.com? You’ll have to buy it from this cute little girl!
However, naming them isn’t always so simple, mostly because entities (known informally as “fuckers”) have opted to “park” on all sorts of domains (a domain is like the “clunkline.com” in “www.clunkline.com”) and charge exorbitant prices for something that is otherwise quite inexpensive. As the internet develops, however, more and more domain names are purchased, and these “fuckers” as they’re called have to park on more and more obscure names in hopes that someone will still come along and buy them. Yup.
Like a Monarch butterfly, I am both beautiful and threatened. It is true–my milkweed is a computer in readme‘s office fondly known as “Notatracksuit”. (Because it is not, you see, in fact a tracksuit.)
Over the three years I’ve been using the machine, I did in fact create many of the items on that list. But in my defense, all of the ferret-related searches were for this photoshop, and I only read Peeing Man Monthly for the articles.
General, I have found the requested images—they were waiting in ambush on the first page of the Google Image Search!
We’re sorry, Mr. Brown, but since “Wishbone®” is a childrens’ show intended to educate and entertain youngsters, there is no conscionable way we can air the recently-penned episode. While “Wishbone®” scripts of the past have featured dark themes and preserved unhappy endings, your adaptation of “Titus Andronicus” goes too far. Admittedly, if it were merely faithful to the original text we might have just gone ahead with it, but your gratuitous incorporation of the Spanish Inquisition into its overbearing plot does not meet the needs of this network at this time.
If you’ve ever wondered whether google ads search the page you’re on for keywords in order to decide what to display, just go online and browse some Dying Fetus or Psycroptic lyrics. Suddenly it becomes rather obvious.
Yesterday was a fast news day in politics. Barack Obama had been busy, making stirring speeches, kissing babies, and symbolizing hope, happiness, and unconditional love. Mike Doyle of CNN woke up late, called off work, and logged on to MSNBC to see a plethora of stories about America’s favorite Hussein. “That’s odd,” Doyle thought. “These are all stories with a positive spin. And there’s a disproportionate amount of them for how many supporters he has.” Doyle then read through MSNBC’s entire Politics page with only a ten-minute break to Google Image Search “throatfuck”. “Huh,” he said, clicking back to his first tab. “I think there’s a story here.”
There are lots of things on the intertube… many of these things are for sale.
Google Ads can help you find the things you want, and even if you don’t want it, Google Ads will find it anyway and put it in a nice little frame with the mysterious term “aff” sprinkled in the blurbs.
