This is what happens when you leave convenience store clerks alone with a bunch of newspapers.

Perhaps the only article worth reading in the sports section.
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Aug. 5, 2009, 10:35 by
Tanzmetall
A henchman ratchets a final cog into place in a massive, Byzantine machine. Gears surround a coal oven. Exhaust pipes and smokestacks weave throughout the room.
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Sep. 29, 2008, 13:26 by
Tanzmetall
I remember way back in the day watching some documentary about the Jena 6 or the Waterloo 19 or something like that. It was in a classroom in my old high school, and the TV’s there had a habit of clipping the corners off the image because the corners were too rounded.
The documentary liked to show scanned newspaper headlines. One of the headlines said, “Black men accused of rape,” which was not funny until it zoomed in ever so slightly, and now said, “Black men accused of rap.”
I burst out laughing at this tragic headline and probably looked either racist or insane.
May. 22, 2008, 22:12 by
Tanzmetall
Because she either can’t gloat about it, or she risks being called out big-time on inconsistency.
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May. 10, 2008, 14:33 by
Tanzmetall
Oh my God, did you hear how Obama picked up that Utah add-on? It’s over, it’s over! Everything that is important in the world is summed up in that one superdelegate’s decision! Also a few hundred thousand people died or something, but I’m sure when Obama’s elected he’ll save them.
May. 7, 2008, 1:50 by
Tanzmetall
Hi! I’m Hillary Clinton. Today I’m going to talk to you about my wonderful plan for eliminating the federal tax on Reality this summer!
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Apr. 3, 2008, 17:10 by
FooTay
When He Says: How is everyone doing tonight?
He Means: Everyone’s only here to see the headlining act, not us, aren’t they?
When He Says: Who here is ready for some heavy fuckin’ metal?
He Means: Who here actually believes that this is what metal sounds like?
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