As the result of an alleged miracle, the likeness of Jesus Christ has been found in a pile of dog feces in the heart of the Vatican.
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 Oooh, baby, you're too hot for Milo. How about you dump that chump and become the Venus de Tanzmetall instead? Seriously, I can’t be alone in this. I mean, I’m not crazy, I know they’re not actual women you can “do the deed with”, so to speak. But their breasts are always perfectly proportioned! And I just know that, if they weren’t made of hard plastic, they’d be just the right size to gently cup in my hand. And, of course, if they were real, they would love me.
Mayweather Syndrome is a debilitating condition that results in audience apathy. Onset of symptoms occurs whenever Travis Mayweather opens his mouth. Shortly thereafter, the cancer of his atrocious acting metastasizes to the other cast members, eventually killing the appeal of the show. There is no known cure for Mayweather Syndrome.
starring by /written by/ actor(s) / director(s() / gaffers(s)/ /producered by(s) : VINCENT BROWN something no one worked on but VINCENT Q. BROWN himself… BREAKING BAD The media has a tendency of repeating the same phrases for something: Obama “clinched” the nomination, Palin “energized” her base. But the candidates themselves are even worse, repeating and repeating some words until they lose whatever meaning they ever had. Sometimes it gets so bad that you just want to throw tomatoes at the candidates and tell them to go nurse their retarded babies. Or maybe that is just me. After having tried many times to sell scripts commercially, I am pleased to announce that I am now in the bzneszs of selling commercial scripts! I hope you like them (I know I do!) as much as I do. Please contact the appropriate companies and let them know they need to use these commercials or the consequences will be worse than anything their darkest imaginations can imagine. Sincerely yours friend,
1. Being set in New York for no good reason. “Hmm. I have this uninteresting, unoriginal screenplay. It could be set in any city in America. However, I am incredibly uninspired, and I will therefore set it in New York.” All of them are things that somebody at Clunkline contributed to at some point. If you exhaust all the fun that is to be had here, we recommend the following prescriptions for further fun. (If you go there, and have no fun, don’t blame us. Let it never be said that doctors never kill people.) readme is a satirical paper that shares a lot of contributors with Clunkline. Aphilotus is the stuff of doctor_subtle’s dreams, nightmares, and wet dreams. And wet nightmares. Grade D but Edible is a webcomic that I discovered by ads the creator purchased on Clunkline. It’s one of about two webcomics that have advertised here that I have really liked. Turns out he’s also a fellow CMU alum. Just helpin’ a brutha out. Jesus Christ is your Lord and Saviour and you should accept him into your heart. Find Jesus and you will be saved. LCWeb is a website hosted on a machine three years younger than me, that explains how the massive workaround was accomplished. Me and Plantboot is an image blog that chronicles the great times Grabass_Champion has with his BFF Plantboot. The No Parking Players are an improv comedy troupe in Pittsburgh, PA, of which MesmericKiwi is the Artistic Director, in which Tanzmetall and Underground Man are performing members, and in which Grabass_Champion, Burpen, and Yakolev have all made the rare guest appearance.
To report a broken link or other things relating to website structure, email burpen@clunkline.com. Contact tanzmetall@clunkline.com with any comments about content. Also use this contact to request the email address of a specific contributor, or to apply to become a contributor. Alternatively, you can use the Forums to let us know what you think about the site, our articles, or our mothers. P.S. Please don’t report that Jesus Christ is broken. Christianity has always failed. Tell us something we don’t know. Who is responsible for the content? Bobby Gurbleby works for my company and he wrote an article about how I’m an idiot. I take offense at this because I am, in fact, an idiot. Can I fire him? I will never officially distinguish what it was that I added from what it was that was already there in the writer’s draft, and if I hint at anything otherwise anywhere else, tough—this is the official word on Clunkline authorship. Because I mess around with what they write here, you cannot hold a writer accountable for what you read—you must hold me accountable. If anyone other than me gets fired over anything on this site I will start a shitstorm. Further, no writer is responsible for what the others write. Don’t fuck with my writers. And to our readers: the views expressed on this website don’t reflect the views of our writers families, employers, friends, or gerbils. (They might not even literally reflect the views of the writer.) Nothing here is meant to be taken too seriously. This link is in plain view on the Front Page, so consider it a license agreement. I give you no guarantee of entertainment; I do give my writers a guarantee of freedom from censorship. If you don’t like that, leave. If you like that, you’re awesome. I made Clunkline to be a haven for writers, and I do not want them to forget that. I want them to write about whatever the hell they want, and I also want the other writers to want them to write about whatever the hell they want. –Tanzmetall |
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