A bill has passed the House to give a Representative in Congress to the heavily-Democratic District of Columbia, which has lacked any sort of voice in the Capitol since the nation’s founding. License plates in DC are emblazoned with “Taxation without Representation” in protest.
Controversially, the bill also contains a provision giving an extra Congressional vote to Republican Utah, in order to even out the partisan mixture of the new additions. Utah narrowly missed getting an extra seat in 2000, and has since been throwing temper tantrums. “No taxation without disproportionate representation,” read license plates in Utah.
It’s amazing how many pieces of crap were made based on (and in worship of) Michael Crichton’s novel Jurassic Park. These pieces of crap included a Spielberg movie. That said, perhaps the majority of the crap was actually based on the movie… Anyhow, a Sega Genesis game was one piece of crap to result from this. And man, was it amusing crap.
Taking to heart the Obama campaign’s fortuitous slogan “Yes We Can,” a whole bunch of people got together and solved a majority of the world’s problems Saturday.
“We all got to thinking, maybe it’s not just up to the candidates, or the people at the top who can do things,” said history professor Darwin Adams. “Maybe some problems are actually better solved by Joe Sixpack fixing his own life than by Joe Biden trying to fix someone else’s.”
A celebratory Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), flanked by lobbyists from the environmental movement, announced that Congress had just approved three new flaws of Nuclear Power, continuing her brave crusade to keep the totally dangerous and obviously bad energy source away from America.
Fun fact about your favorite Clunkline author, nom de pomme: I’m left handed!
That right, I’m a southpaw underhanded sinister guy. Here’s the thing, the world isn’t, and I fucking hate it. Somewhere in a parallel universe, I am the most coordinated person in the world. In this reality, however, I constantly fail at direction and mechanics because of my… orientation.
Also Known As, The Longest Motherfucking Corner Essay Ever
There are a number of arguments for and against the Electoral College, and yet there are not two legitimate sides to the debate, because every one of the losing side’s arguments belies borderline mental retardation. In every claim about what the system does, E.C. supporters are flat wrong, by empirical fact. And in every claim about why what it actually does is a good thing, they are nothing less than clinically delusional.
Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd has a lot of experience with mediocrity, which may offset Obama’s greatness. He ran a lackluster campaign for President before dropping out after Iowa with three votes, all of which were cast by his mother. In February, he became the first also-ran to endorse a former rival and have nobody notice.
Former general Wesley Clark is everything McCain wishes he were: younger, smarter, more successful, and never tortured. He falls just short of being a demigod, and is as great as a mortal man can be. His penis is also noticeably girthier.
I should like to call this indignatious repartee to a susceptible level of ordnance and leverage that this illustrious council could pluralize the inhalations heretofore presented thusly.
Pennsylvania faces many infrastructural challenges that it solves by creating worse infrastructural challenges. One of these challenges results from our state hiring construction workers in order to create jobs, not to finish jobs. The worst of these challenges is named PennDot.
Here, Grabass_Champion puts on his Social Commentary hat, and wishes to address a problem that is one of his paramount complaints about his society, all the while hoping to amuse you while he preaches. It worked for South Park, right? Being preachy but funny? Yeah. We’ll see. This is probably going to be heavy on the preachy part.
TL;DR for the whole series: Kids of the generations that will enter the workforce during the next ten years are (in the majority) nihilistic, self-obsessed, pot-addled shits with little desire to understand anything about the world around them. They are this because of the media, and because they’ve been brought up by the people who came out of the cultural revolution of the 1960s.
The worst writing professor I ever had disagreed with me about this. But only because the stupid cunt was, herself, from New York. She also verbally abused me and refused to honor medical absence excuses, so whatever, fuck her.
1. Being set in New York for no good reason.
“Hmm. I have this uninteresting, unoriginal screenplay. It could be set in any city in America. However, I am incredibly uninspired, and I will therefore set it in New York.”
If there is one word to adequately describe Soulja Boy’s success, that word is “inexplicable”.
Hip-hop perpetuates its own hackneyed aspects. Soulja Boy, as far as I can tell, is an overblown mockery of several of these aspects. He’s ridiculously exaggerated to the extent that you think, there’s no way this guy is possibly serious. And yet he is.
“Horrendous miscarriage of pop culture” approaches the magnitude of his failure.
