“Yo yo yo, my rhymes be ill, my words be crass
don’t get up in my grill, I’ll tesselate cho ass!
Bitch, it ain’t mine, don’t get up in my face
or I’ll shove you down an infinite staircase.”
Ahhhh… the only rap song to ever use the Shepard scale.
You may have heard a few mathematically-inspired, nerdy-as-hell pick-up lines such as “I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.” Until now, you may not have been familiar with their inbred cousins: programming pick-up lines. If you wish to remedy this situation, read on!
Some say I’m static but you know I can fill your private void.
Way back when the Forums were young, when farkle-farkle, nervestaple, and I lived together, when the grass was green and the economy was real, I made a mistake.
It is often observed that hindsight is 20/20, and that goes double for science. So, like, 40/40. The existence of gravity, famously observed by Sir Isaac Newton, is sort of a no-brainer in retrospect. So are using rocks to hit things, bottled water, that some things are flammable, and black-white-and-grey television. But all of this pales in comparison to the mighty, profound DUH! going through the mathematics community in light of recent discoveries in the field of fuzzy math.
On Election Day, most of the decided voters are out trying to find Area 51 and the Crystal Skull, or are wasted off their ass at a 24 hour bar in Vegas.
Until I met my sister’s boyfriend, I thought I knew comedy. I had somehow been under the false impression that, from time to infrequent time, I wrote a bit of it myself. Just a little, you know, on the side, nothing much. Certainly not an article every three days or so. (Where did I get a crazy idea like that?) That paradigm has all shifted, now that I’ve met Brad, and now I truly understand that I just simply am not funny. I also learned that this is objective, and even if readme disappears off the newspaper racks it is only because people secretly hate me.
A study conducted over the course of the past year discovered that there were no differences in division-by-zero errors between a control group taught no math and a test group taught that addition was the only way to change a number. “It clearly just doesn’t work,” said math teacher Jane Michaelson, shaking her head. “We should just acknowledge that kids are going to multiply occasionally, and we need to give them the tools and knowledge to do it safely.”
Also Known As, The Longest Motherfucking Corner Essay Ever
There are a number of arguments for and against the Electoral College, and yet there are not two legitimate sides to the debate, because every one of the losing side’s arguments belies borderline mental retardation. In every claim about what the system does, E.C. supporters are flat wrong, by empirical fact. And in every claim about why what it actually does is a good thing, they are nothing less than clinically delusional.
Ken MacDugal, math professor at Fairfax County Community College in Virginia, has crafted the world’s most perfect Spenserian sonnet ever conceived, using only digits from the hexadecimal system.
As you might have deduced, notebook adventures with me is a selection of some of the more wondrous doodles that I’ve produced in my time not paying attention to classes. In keeping with that tradition, I am also posting this entry during a class. Wondrous.
