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After years of watching you masturbate, Ceiling Cat is dead. Blood drips from the hole in the sky where that celestial feline once peeped its last Tom (Tom-cat? Get it? Peeping Tom? Peeping Tom-cat? Die in a fire). And who, you the audience might ask, killed him? None other than the President of Iran, who after a recent visit to the calm, quickly-democratizing nation-state of Iraq, had the kitty killed in retaliation for the recent slaying of Cliff Puppy by a US Marine. That’s right… the title of this rejoinder is so clever that it doesn’t even make sense! Xbox Live smack-talk is too much for me? Voice chat may have been the most irritating addition to video games ever created. I remember the first time I played Counterstrike (Yeah, a REAL multiplayer game that doesn’t allow for mad screen-looking and where it only takes a few shots to kill) with the newly-implemented voice-chat feature. Everyone that I had been playing with that was ostensibly 18, 20, 21 years old ended up being a pottymouthed 15-year-old who just couldn’t take it when I found a clever place to hide and kill them all. So, yes, in short, it is too much for me. Too much idiocy. |
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