US Marine Kills Puppy; Ahmadinejad Ups Ante, Assassinates Ceiling Cat

After years of watching you masturbate, Ceiling Cat is dead. Blood drips from the hole in the sky where that celestial feline once peeped its last Tom (Tom-cat? Get it? Peeping Tom? Peeping Tom-cat? Die in a fire).

And who, you the audience might ask, killed him? None other than the President of Iran, who after a recent visit to the calm, quickly-democratizing nation-state of Iraq, had the kitty killed in retaliation for the recent slaying of Cliff Puppy by a US Marine.

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The Only Thing Metal About Tanzmetall is his Lack of Taste

That’s right… the title of this rejoinder is so clever that it doesn’t even make sense!

Xbox Live smack-talk is too much for me? Voice chat may have been the most irritating addition to video games ever created. I remember the first time I played Counterstrike (Yeah, a REAL multiplayer game that doesn’t allow for mad screen-looking and where it only takes a few shots to kill) with the newly-implemented voice-chat feature. Everyone that I had been playing with that was ostensibly 18, 20, 21 years old ended up being a pottymouthed 15-year-old who just couldn’t take it when I found a clever place to hide and kill them all. So, yes, in short, it is too much for me. Too much idiocy.

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