So one might criticize my reaction to that initial night of sexile, since the blue scrunchie maneuver was something I might have given Peter reason to think was okay. (I hope to god Peter didn’t show that Chinese girl his “blue scrunchie maneuver” if you know what I mean, because what I mean is some kind of sex act).
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From the Desk of the First Church of Lego (Reformed) Good morning, my fellow minifigures. I have received many troubling confessions as of late. It seems many members of our community are harboring dangerous thoughts as to the nature of the Creator. Questions are being asked that can only lead to treason against the almighty Builder and His books of divine instruction. I have taken it upon myself to dispel these concerns once and for all so that all of us fellow bricks can once more unite in the name of Lego. Yes, my dear loyal audience, it is nom de pomme, back from his tour of Scandinavia, the low countries, southern Austria, and eastern Australia with a new edition of Guide for your listening (read: reading) pleasure. In this edition, we look at the elusive meanings to some of the world’s most enigmatic and popular songs. In a surprise upset, wrestling announcer Maximilian “Maxx” Heavyweights won the Heavyweight title in the Thunder Mountain Wrestling Xtreem Championship, announced “Maxx” Heavyweights on Tuesday. Things started to go badly for the two contestants about halfway through the final match of the championship. Like many of you whose girlfriend has left them for another species, I often find myself comparing my penis to that of many animals. For those of you who have not had the opportunity to degrade yourself, I went to the Icelandic Phallological Museum, home of more than 245 preserved penises to learn about the wonders of the animal penis kingdom.
The Logic of Ronnie I’ve already pointed out a few examples of situations in which Ronnie makes very bizarre logical errors, but there are plenty more available. They follow. The Beaverthroop Expedition has been most excruciatingly dull of late, which explains my lack of entries for the past few weeks. It has come to me that the reader of this manuscript, upon its inevitable publishing, will possibly be displeased at the gap in information, so I will contribute a small description of what had come to pass since my last entry, before coming to the matter at hand, to wit: the reason I chose to return to my journal. |
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