A short while ago, on a whim, I taught myself to play the accordion. I had a hunch that somehow, knowing this instrument would open doors for me, if I wanted to do comedy. (No idea where I got a crazy idea like that.)
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My last venture into the quirks of my life was one of reason more than habit. Today’s topic, however, deals with something that is an aspect of my personality. I can endure monotony relatively indefinitely. Y’know, it’s interesting that somebody just put up a post on this site complaining about imitators because that just happens to be what this issue of “My Pet Peeves” covers. I HATE it when people borrow (more like annex) the work and styles of someone else’s efforts. This means that 99.9999999% of the time, I hate fan videos of movies and shows, covers of already famous and popular songs, homemade comics on the web featuring casts of characters that already exist and are copyrighted like Naruto, photoshop images of things that photoshop images have already been made of, and the list goes on and on. The post I mentioned above featured yet another thing we have all seen many versions of, something which we have all come to love and then grow tired of in one sitting: Motivational posters and their many, many, MANY EFFING MANY parodies. Now that the internet is home to somewhere over nine thousand of these parodies, who in their right mind, in their left mind, or even in their auxiliary mind would want to be just another person to make yet one more? Who wants to become a statistic, really?  Why A Swinger? Rampaging robocops rebelliously reduce residents to random radical reserves. As of press time, Clunkline has ascertained that the Mormon Punitive Expedition bent on destroying Ammangetorix’s band of vandalatious Amish marauders who have been terrorizing the region for years. The following spam messages were all copied directly from my inbox at EA (where I’m currently working). They are presented here unaltered and unedited, except for a few instances in which potentially dangerous urls have been removed, and a few other instances in which I have inserted my own comments in brackets and italics [like this]: From: Claude Caddle With the metal archives currently listing tens of thousands of official metal bands, you would think that all the good names would be taken by now. Not true! Coming up with new band names is easy; just pick a genre and follow the given template: Death Metal: Random Latin Phrase OR name of a disease. Examples: Eo Ipso, Catalepsy, Myxedema, Semper Instans |
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