Why Tanzmetall Has Not Posted Lately

“Hold on, I’ll open another tab…”

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Clunkipedia: Groaty Dick.

Groaty Dick.

According to Wikipedia, Groaty Dick “. . .is a traditional dish from the Black Country in England.” 300 This means that it qualifies as “soul food,” which may come as a surprise to some. Groaty dick is made from “. . .groats, beef, leeks, onions, and beef stock [and a bunch of other shit].” π

Groaty Dick is most commonly found in Tanzmetall’s pants.YEP Generally modern scientists believe that the dick in Tanzmetall’s pants got so groaty from his habit of putting it in toothless hookers. However, a recent study indicates that it may also be the result of having sex with mountains of dromedary feces. EW

300. Groaty Dick. Wikipedia. Accessed 23/1/10.
π. Groaty Dick. Wikipedia. Accessed 23/1/10.
YEP. I looked there. It’s pretty groaty.
EW. Harris, Krautbaumer, et al. “Making Connections: A study of Tanzmetall’s genitalia and dromedary excreta in sexual contexts.” American Journal of Things More Important than Cancer and Aids. Vol. 4 Issue 13, 24-41.

A Summary of Ben Kingsley's Film Career, From Wikipedia

Ben Kingsley

No, don't lay on hands--it's contagious!

Saint George, Source: Wikipedia

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Oil of Saints, It Damn Near Killed Him!

Reading Wikipedia today I came across the fluid known as Oil of Saints. It’s a particular substance that saintly remains (or relics) extrude that is considered holy, and can be used in substitution for the saint’s intercession- a Saint of Healing’s Oil heals, etc.

Now, my question is, do all corpses, holy and unholy, exude similar Corpse Kool-Aid?

Can one go to an abandoned forest in Russia and dig up some Romanov Jungle Juice? I wonder, does that stuff come with Anastasia Ambrosia, or is on the side (maybe in Paris!)? And her brother, the hemophiliac, could one bruise the gin?